Clean Slate
by TwoPointNo
Summary: Emily decides to tell Daniel the truth in order to salvage the relationship she's fallen into.
1. Chapter 1

"I can't believe you actually agreed to this thing twice" Daniel said looking at his now fiancée's ring finger that was occupied by the diamond he had kept in a safe for the last year in his will to get her back. Emily smiled and slightly chuckled "I can't believe it myself" she said, her tone hardening, more truth behind her words than he could have ever known until now.

"There's something I need to tell you Daniel, and I've been meaning to tell you since last summer but I've cowardly postponed it "She said toying with her fork showing a nervous self he had never seen before.

"You're scaring me, I'm not a mystery guy" Daniel answered trying to find her eyes.

A moment passed before Emily took a deep breath and brought her face up to find his eyes with a sheepish look, "I am Amanda Clarke" was all she said in a strong tone that did not leave any room for Daniel to doubt the honesty of those four words that his brain was struggling to understand.

A cold silence took over the table in the house that was once owned by her father. "So why are you here?" he asked cutting his steak, his expression unreadable. Emily knew better than to ask him about what was happening on his mind so she just answered hoping their relationship wasn't beyond repair

"I came back seeking revenge for his incarceration and death"

"Both caused by my parents" he stated vaguely

"Yes"

"So, you showed up at the Hamptons to destroy my family because of what it did to yours?" Daniel continued stating more than asking "And you've cause most of the problems we've had this last year, planted a fake Amanda, pretended you loved me and on top of everything you're my sister's sister?" he finished before taking another bite of his steak followed by a sip of red wine and a cold look to the newly found enemy in front of him

"Yes, but –"

"I need to use the restroom" Daniel said cutting her off "I'll be right back Amanda" he continued as he got up and placed his napkin on the table.

While he was gone Emily allowed herself a moment of being overwhelmed for it all and put her elbows up in the table, disregarding any etiquette being Emily Thorne could require, bringing her hands to her face. The night was not going as expected, Daniel barely reacted to her confession and that only made her feel more insecure about the outcome of the dinner she had so carefully planned in her head.

To Emily's surprise after a few minutes Daniel came back and sat down, not looking deeply disturbed. "Do you love me? Do you even like me or do you still prefer long-lost-opportunity Jack Porter? He said pain in his voice.

"I do love you, that's the issue here, I have fallen in love with the enemy. Last year I made a mistake when I kissed Jack but at least it led to the separation that has brought us here. The months you've spent with Ashley and I've spent with Aiden have only made me realize that I love you" She said clenching to the chair with her left hand.

"And I'm just supposed to believe that, after you've just told me you're destroying my family from the inside" abandoning every effort to look put together.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" hurt, even if the reaction was more of what she expected from the beginning."It took al lot for me to accept that I love you and even more to get me to reconcile with the idea of giving up on my plans in order to protect you, now I'm going the extra mile here to keep the relationship going by telling you something I never thought I'd tell anyone. I prepared myself to come here and destroy no matter what but these feelings got in the way. You were supposed to be a mean, not and end and now you've become the end I find myself craving for and I hate myself for that." The whole thing acme out fast and soft as a whisper but at the same time they were such heartfelt words Daniel found himself clueless as to how handle the situation.

Emily started to break down in front of Daniel like she never had before, not finding the strength to pull herself together and hide behind her façade, she needed an answer to the question that hung in the air, so she asked pleading for freedom of the doubt she had inflicted on them; "Are we still going to Paris?".

Daniel looked at her with disbelief, wondering how she could have the nerve to ask that and not having a clue to what the answer to such pressing matter was, "I'll get back to you on that one" as he got up, walked around the table towards the door and left her with an unfinished dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

- "Miss Thorne, so early in the morning and you are already here"- Victoria said at the sight of the blonde entering her manor.

- "Good morning Victoria"- she replied making the impatience in her voice with a polite tone -"is Daniel home?"- Emily asked letting her hopefully soon-to-be mother-in-law know she was not in the state of mind to fall in her mind games.

- "I assumed he'd spent the night with you. The way you look right now is only helping to reaffirm my thought" Victoria said scrutinizing the uncannily chaotic appearance of the always-put-together Emily Thorne in front of her.

Her mind was set on Daniel so she didn't respond to Victoria's provocation leading to a cold silence that filled the space between them for several minutes. The lock of the monumental wooden door clicked and both women set their eyes on the rather slow movement that revealed an ill-looking Daniel coming in.

- "Morning" he said, "Mother, if you don't mind I need a word with my fiancée"-. Emily could not fight the urge to raise her eyebrows at the realization he still considered her as such.

- "Oh, I see the engagement is back on, let's hope you opt for a very long one this time around. I would open a bottle of champagne but it seems you two have plenty alcohol in your systems"- she said as she eyed them both again, before walking away, obviously masking her annoyance at the news.

- "Fiancée?"

- "You did take the ring, didn't you? Daniel was using a cold tone as he walked towards the pool house followed by a careful Emily who was looking for the right words.

- "I'm not sorry"

-"Seriously? That's your opening line to this conversation?"- He said in a painful not-sarcastic-at-all tone. -"Listen, I have one question and I want the truth. Is the woman I fell for, well, real?

Emily thought for one second, getting the mess inside her head in order -"I lied about my name, my story and my intentions but everything I've told you about how I feel is real"

Daniel brought his hands to his head, covered his face for a minute and then passed them through his messy hair that had been so tidy the night before -"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

-"It means, Daniel that I have been as honest as I could without jeopardizing my plans"- she said knowing there was no good answer to his question. He stood up and moved to his window silently watching the waves end in the shore for several minutes, each one feeling like hours to Emily.

-"So, to be sure here, you knew all about the initiative and everything, well you knew more than me, and you came back as someone new to make my parents pay for framing your dad, in this process you managed to make me propose to you giving you almost complete access to the family you were trying to destroy and now you're confessing, why? Because you're satisfied with what you've accomplished? Is this you gloating?"- Daniel said slowly turning on his heels and locking his eyes with hers, searching for a better picture of his still surreal situation.

-"No, I mean, yes, but I'm not confessing because I'm satisfied, I'm confessing because I'm willing to let my revenge aside to salvage our relationship because I've truly come to love you"- She said as she stood up to walk towards him -"You're not them, I saw it when you battled to frame Aiden. It's not you who I blame, it's not you who I want punished"- Emily whispered now inches away from him, she reached for his hand and softly put hers in it waiting for a response to put her out of doubt.

Daniel's face changed as his brain remembered Aiden -"What about Aiden? Why did you encouraged me to frame him? Exactly the guy you had dated."

Emily could not believe she'd been so foolish to forget about Aiden, she should have known better that to bring him up herself, she knew she'd have to give him away too if she wanted to be honest but did not wanted to bring herself to do it. -"He, he knows, he's working with me so he knew the whole time he was being framed"

- "And the dating part?"

Emily released a long breath -"We have history, way back, and he showed up this year in my house, willing to help me, you were with Ashley, Jack was with Amanda, and our history is heavy, but that is over because I'm marrying you"- She finished, fishing.

Daniel walked away letting her hand fall back to place -"So it was _really_ real with him? Was it real with Jack too?-"

- "Jack doesn't know. And I was just stuck in my 16-year old crush Daniel, we got married and I never really got any closure"- she said trying to bring a little light to a grim conversation.

- "Well isn't your love ideal" he said wryly "I'm going to need some time Amanda"

- "Don't leave me hanging Daniel, please"

- "I really don't know what to say"


	3. Chapter 3

"Let's meet, we need to talk Daniel" Sunday, 10:30 am

"Haven't seen you in two days, still need to talk" Monday, 9.45 am

"I understand you're mad and need space but silence it's not very mature of you" Tuesday 8:00am

"I'm sorry, can we have some lunch? Please" Wednesday 7:30 am

"Not today, I'm having lunch with a partner" Wednesday 11:30 am

"How about that lunch today?" Thursday 7:30 am

"Sure, same table in the place on the 5th at 1, Can't leave the city" Thursday 7:35 am

-"Hi"- The blonde said assessing the situation -"Nice week?"

-"Not really, after I found out I almost married some kind of spy the company went into some kind of stock mayhem"

Emily carelessly placed her hand on top of his on the table –"Oh, well I'm sorry. How did you managed?"

-"Just some meetings to assure the—no, wait, don't do this, don't act like you're not a whole different person"- He said as he moved his hand causing Emily to let out a sigh and sit up straighter afterwards.

-"Let's start over Daniel, come with me to Paris and let's begin an honest relationship"

-"So I should just forgive you?"- He said dryly.

-"Are you going to tell me that your parents didn't deserve what they've gotten this year?- she replied honestly waiting for an answer.

-"I did not deserve what I've gotten this year"- he stated low and menacing but clear enough for her to pick up on the anger behind it –"Charlotte did not deserve what she has gotten this year, the Porters did not deserve what they have gotten this year, and the girl who got killed for being Amanda Clarke probably did not deserve what she got."- Daniel continued facial expression and tone unchanged.

Emily's eyes began to tear up at the memory of Amanda –"That's why I'm trying to stop this madness"- her voice breaking –"I love you, and Charlotte like the sister she is, and- and Jack and Declan are perfectly innocent"- she was in tears already –"and Amanda Daniel, she is my best friend and, she's dead Daniel, I love her, she got me through juvie and she's dead because of this, so yes, I want to stop for what I've caused to most of you, but your parents deserve this and more and you can't deny that".

Daniel couldn't help to reach out and hold her, watching her so broken, she had always seemed so put together as a apart of her façade, his resentment had vanished as he saw the woman he loved hurt so much in the middle of a restaurant disregarding the prying looks, it was so unlike her, unlike Emily at least. –"We can give it a shot Ems"- He said, meaning it but doubting on the outcome.

-"You should continue to call me Amanda if we're doing this, except a bit less sarcasm at the end of it" she said with a chuckle between sobs putting a smile on Daniel's lips.

After a restroom visit and a few worried-investor calls they left the restaurant and decided to start the attempt of a do-over in Central Park, at the moment they could not care less about the confused glares two over dressed one percent members sitting in the grass in the middle of a Thursday would get.

-"So, what about your parents Amanda?"- Daniel asked looking at the blonde toying with the pair of heels on her hands.

-"Well I barely remember my mother, you see, she had a medical condition when I was just five so she, um, left. My dad was great until I was nine and we were separated by some difficult situations, I never saw him again, he died while I was in juvie"- Emily answered outing on a sad smile and turning her look distant.

-"Juvie?"- He said, knowing the story he knew was probably a lie too –"Why? If it's okay to ask"

-"Yeah sure. I may or may not have burned down my evil foster family's house"- She said, oddly bright for the words spoken.

-"Oh god, you're quite a piece of work"- Daniel replied, baffled by the confession, –"And how does an orphan with such a dark record carry a life in the Hamptons Amanda?"

-"Before he died my father invested a small amount in a new company of which I now own 49%"- Emily said looking at the dogs in the park and wondering how that was really going, it was strange that a first date would go so smoothly given their past.

-"I see, which company was it?"

-"Daniel"- She said in a tone that pleaded him to drop the topic.

-"Hey, we're starting over. I'm not going to freeze your assets or call the FBI, I know the man was innocent"

-"Nolcorp, I own almost half of Nolcorp, so a job isn't really on my list, I had better things to do"- She spat out without thinking shooting an apologetic look afterwards.

"You own half Nolcorp?"- He confirmed shocked –"I should have seen it coming, you're wealthier than me Miss Clarke"- He said playfully.

-"I hope that does not threaten you Mr. Grayson"- She replied feeling a good shift in the mood of the conversation. –"What about your childhood?"

-"What?"-

-"Well I was right next door, our parents were quite fond with each other, yet, I never saw you around and was left with Jack to fake-marry"

-"I was in England. They shipped me off to boarding school every year"- he answered absentmindedly smiling at her joke –"They really didn't want me here until they needed to get me in Harvard to follow the Grayson men footsteps. I guess that backfired for them"

-"What do you mean? Here you are, CEO of Grayson Global"

-"I was an over-privileged 19-year-old forced to major in administration and Business in a lace that didn't felt anything like home"- He said with a grin.

-"So you caused the school board some trouble on behalf of the Grayson Name"- She finished smiling at the thought of a drunken Daniel in Harvard, but more at the casual conversation they were having, that was almost never present in their previous relationship. It was remarkable how little they knew about each other and yet how Daniel had been ready to marry her, twice, and how she had fallen for him.

-"Exactly"- he said, moving his head to catch some sunlight –"You know, I wanted to be a poet and they wouldn't let me. I found out this year they called the publishers and told them to reject me" he continued finishing the comment and getting a laugh from her, Daniel appreciated the sound as he never had before, sensing the small differences from the one he was so used to hear in charities and dinner dates.

"We met once in a bar, you were discussing some literature and brought me into it"- She said recalling the night she'd seen him first –"I really thought you were handsome and actually smart"- she said and a blush made its way to her cheeks.

Daniel observed the rare phenomenon to cherish it in his mind –"You blush? That's new. Picking up in your comment, I was, I am extremely handsome and smart"- he said in a fake smug tone –"And I remember you were dark, like you could have known poetry, Em- Amanda"

She did not hear, or cared about his slip, it was going too well to spoil it over that –"yeah, didn't you get that from burned down a house?"- She asked with a faked seriousness that made him laugh, his laugh on the other hand was as honest as it had been in the last year, making her feel once again guilt for lying to him. –"After I got out of juvie, I, an anger filled 18-year-old, found out my dad was dead and, surprise, I was a millionaire. You can just imagine how much trouble it was to Nolan to live up to his promise to keep an eye on me, the song sex, drugs and rock and roll was my anthem "

-"Wow, and when did this angsty teenager turned into clean-cut PG-13 Emily Thorne?"-. The conversation had turned from easy-breezy to awfully awkward in one sentence.

She cleared her throat before starting to answer to built something decent in her mind –"I met Emily on juvie, she became a sister to me. After I came out and found out my dad had been framed I had this plan and all I needed was a new identity, and she was willing to help. She was never supposed to come here but Frank tracked her down and, well, you know the rest"- She finished hoping it was enough, she did not feel like explaining her training and everything she had actually done the last years in order to destroy his family,

He looked at his watch and sighed showing he really wanted to continue their talk –"I have to go deal with the stock mayhem"- He said as he got up and held his hand out to help her –"Do you want to come with me to the office or—"

"Yeah, sure"- she replied quickly, surprised she had been invited.


	4. Chapter 4

"Yesterday went fine, right?" Friday, 9:40am

"Yeah, we need to talk about that" Friday, 12:30pm

"Lunch?" Friday, 12:31pm

"I can't leave today" Friday, 12:35pm

"Takeout at your office then, I'm already in the city" Friday, 12:36pm

"How could I say no, right?" Friday, 12:45pm

" :)" Friday, 12:46pm

Grace let Amanda in without any hesitation; she was still Emily Thorne, his fiancée, in the secretary's eyes. Amanda pushed the door open with her back, hands occupied by bags of Chinese food.

-"Hey, sorry I took a while, I had to drive up from the Upper East Side"- Amanda said turning and dropping the bags in the couch along with her car keys.

-"It's okay, what were you doing there?"- He said watching her sort out food on the table

-"Some shopping"

-"Oh, the life of a majority partner"- He said with a grin making her smile briefly. Daniel did not intend this to drag out, he had something to say and he was not going to sugarcoat it. –"I had a great time yesterday. You seem great".

-"Don't say it like you don`t know me at all"- She said, afraid of where the conversation could be going.

-"I take it that was the first time you were you"

-"Not really, just the first time I used my name"- She said.

A small pause took over, boxes of ramen untouched between them. A troubled look came across Daniel's face and Amanda, who didn't want to pry or do anything to wreck the conversation further, couldn't stop her words, it seemed only Daniel could vanish years of training with his mere presence. –"What is it?

He kept quiet for a few seconds before managing an answer -"It went great, our date. I liked who I met yesterday. She's not very different than who I wanted to marry"

-"But"- Amanda said sensing the condescending tone of his statement.

-"But I don't think I can overlook what she's done"

They allowed silence to fill the void Amanda's response should be filling for a moment and decided to start eating as if the action could defuse the tension. –"I get it, if someone gets not letting things go it's me"- she finally said putting on a fake smile that, for the first time, failed to hide the sadness behind itself.

It's not like she didn't expected that reaction, she had braced herself from the moment she had decided to confess; _**It's better to risk it than live in the lie 'till death do us part**__,_ but the date they had only gave her hope.

-"Emi- Amanda I'm not saying I'm not working on it, I just can't put it aside just like that: date, relationship, third engagement, marriage; with a new person forgetting how hung up I was with her evil alter ego"- He said watching closely how the emotions played out in her now honest face. She was hurt he could see it but could not bring himself to soothe it. _**I caused it maybe but she brought it upon herself, it is her damn fault and I'm hurt too, I'm broken, she broke me.**_

-"Let's take out trip to France"- she said, more a question than a statement

-"Did you not hear me?"

-"I heard you"- She said conveying she wished she never had

-"So?"- He replied angrily

-"Daniel it s never going to work if we stay here and I'm still Emily Thorne to everyone, people will wonder why we're dragging this wedding and I'm not whole to fake any longer. It's either that or me disappearing from the Grayson radar for good"

-"Is that an ultimatum?"- He said disbelief in his voice. _**What on earth, does she think she has the ultimatum power here?**_

"No, it's a plea. I don't want to go anywhere without you. Home is where we love, a home our feet may leave but not our hearts, remember?"- She said hoping a trip down memory lane would calm him but sounding as truthful as she could have.

"Oliver Wendell Holmes, of course I do"- He replied softly

-"We can have our do-over in Paris"

-"I'd have to think about that"

-"I know, but please do"

-"Of course" – He said with finality in his voice. They say awkwardly for a few minutes eating their Chinese takeout before he couldn't take it anymore –"So what were you shopping for?"- he asked, given that the other date had proved that as damaged as the relationship was, they still had the ability to talk about the banal things that were so trivial at such challenging times.


	5. Chapter 5

-"And where is the lovely Miss Thorne this evening"- Victoria said as she ambushed her son in the middle of the ball room

-"Maybe resting from your passive aggression Mother"- he answered wryly

-"Well I do hope that is the reason she is not here tonight, I don't see your relationship enduring another fight"

-"Not planning on it, now if you'll excuse me there's got to be more pleasant company somewhere in this place" he said walking away, thinking perhaps Victoria knew more than she was saying.

-"Nolan dragged me to this charity thing, are you here?" Friday, 9:30pm

"Indeed I am, meet me at the bar" Friday, 9:40pm

-"Hey"

-"Hello, you look astonishing as always"- he said before turning back and moving his glass to make the liquor swirl

Amanda sat on the stall next to his –"Best beer you have please"

-"You were never a drinker, is this the rebel in you?"

-"No"- she said with a smile- "This thing we have going on here is taking its toll on me too"

As the beer burnt its way down her throat Victoria crossed the room with a grin in her face –"Miss Thorne, I was under the impression you would not be joining us tonight"

-"Oh no, how could I miss the opportunity to help with such an important charity?"- she said turning immediately in the champagne-sipping woman Daniel had known, the transformation was admirable to say the least –"And of course the sight of you it's always a pleasure Victoria"- Daniel was frozen analyzing the differences between Emily and Amanda, there was a calm and honesty in the latter that he could not believe his own blindness to the lack of it in Emily, now he could see that the sometimes unsettling perfection she exuded was not so perfect after all.

-"Same goes to you Emily"- His mother's voice filtered through his ears

-"Always a pleasure to see family"- Emily replied with a friendly reminder.

-"Of course, speaking of which, I better go to find Conrad, he needs an excuse to get rid of the supporters chasing him"- Victoria said already walking away leaving them at the bar. Amanda relaxed once again, it was as if in that moment the evil spirit that had taken over her had just decided to get out of her body, which only made Daniel loathe her more for the easiness that she seemed to fool everybody with.

-"Your mother is a bitch"- Amanda said drinking the beer bottle in one try

-"Don't you mean a complicated woman?"- He asked using words he found more Emily thorne-ish

-"No, a bitch"- she replied earning a laugh from him

-"I know"-he said observing her, right there, gulping beer, she looked more beautiful that she ever had and that just made him hate her more, the fact that he was still finding her beautiful, and he wanted to go to Paris with her, the fact that she had broken him and he still loved her.

-"Do you want to dance'"- she asked him as he finished his drink

-"You ask men to dance with you now?"- He asked back obviously amused

-"The beer may be acting in my organism"

-"Okay, you have one dance, I have to be home by midnight"- He said jokingly

-"Let's make that two dances, just to make sure the other suitors know you're not on sale tonight"- Amanda replied pointing with her head to Victoria and the girl who had been looking at Daniel for most of the night.

-"Oh god, three it is, I dated her in college, she's a psychopath and my mother loves her for some reason"- he said already dancing

-"She can't be worse than me"

-"Did you not hear me say my mother likes her?"

-"That only means she can't think for herself"

-"Except to track me down around the globe"

-"You have a stalker, that's really cute"

-"She's coming over"

-"What does she think? That we are going to stop dancing or-?"

-"She'll trip or something like that, she always does that when she tracks me down and I help her and she says things like Daniel I didn't see you there, we should catch up, what a coincidence we're in Argentina at the same time, it must be fate"

-"That sounds like a great strategy actually"

-"You help her, make sure she sees the ring"

-"I won't d—"- Amanda's response was cut off as the girl barreled between them spilling red wine in his shirt

"Oh god I am so so so sorr—Daniel? Oh my god, this is such a small world, we haven't seen each other since that time in Rome, let me—"

-"Hi Jenny, yeah small world"- he said gesturing Amanda to help him –"It's okay you don't have to clean my shirt"- He said moving her hands from his chest.

-"I'll do that"- Amanda said taking the napkin form her hand slowly to make sure she saw the diamond on her finger -"You, me, restroom, now"

-"Sure honey, this is Emily, my fiancée"

-"You're getting married? How did you manage to make him settle down? This one's a traveler"- she said jealously enough to make Amanda laugh a little

-"He was settled when I found him"

-"Now if you'll excuse us. I have to get this clean Jenny, nice to see you, as always"

-"Bye Daniel, I am really sorry"

-"That she didn't get to come to the restroom with you"- Amanda whispered to Daniel as they walked away

-"You ask guys to go to the restroom with you now too?"

-"Hey, you told me to rescue you, I did. How doesn't matter"

-"I told you she was a psychopath, who does that kind of things?"

-"That was the exact same move that got you settled down"

-"Touché"

-"They don't cater red wine around because people may spill it on their expensive light-colored clothes, she must have bought it on the bar and walked all the way to us, she's dedicated to her craft, you have to give her that"- she said pouring water on the shirt.

-"Would you track me down like she does?"- He asked honestly

-"I am so much better, I could find you within a day, you can't run from me. But if you tell me to stop, I'd stop, or I'd observe you from a safe distance and cry myself to sleep everyday"- She answered making him smile

-"It's not going to clean, let It go, I have more"

-"So what next?"- She said as she gave him the wet shirt –"we go back there and rub the relationship on her face?"

-"Are you sure you're not having too much fun with this?"

-"I am, it's almost as good as telling your mother every time I have the opportunity"

-"Sure, I owe you one and a half dances and it's not midnight yet. I can manage with a wet shirt."


	6. Chapter 6

Daniel shifted in his bed for around two hours until he couldn't take it anymore, _**it's these damn sheets**_, it was almost summer and they were suffocating him, making him sweat and sticking to his skin and they smelled like her, still carrying remains of that scent she always wore. At the realization of her smell he felt the anger build on his chest and spread like wildfire trough his body, in one sudden movement he yanked the silk sheets away from his body and fixed his eyes in the ceiling trying to suppress the feeling, he felt it crushing him against the mattress so he shot up, grabbed a sweatshirt, picked up the sheets from the floor, took the nearest bottle and walked to the beach.

That beach had seen too much in the last year, _**most of it caused by her. **_Daniel could only seem to utter–"Who the fuck do you think you are?"- in a shout to the sea as he ripped the expensive fabric in his hands, -"Playing god"- he said, this time a mumble to himself as he let the sheets slip from his hands to the sand. He closed his eyes hoping for all of it to go away but nothing had really changed when he opened them again, frustrated with his powerlessness in the matter he poured whatever he'd brought with him in the sheets remembering the box of matches that laid in the pocket of the sweatshirt, as he let a lit one fall into the silk he hoped the fire would burn everything he was feeling knowing better than to expect it to work.

As he watched his bedclothes reduce to ashes and the ocean waves go back and forth he felt the anger not diminish but grow, invade every inch of his being until it overcame the pain. He was decided to go to her house and strangle her for what she had caused, with his bare hands, but his legs would not move, his whole body was irresponsive, but after a few minutes the pain was back, stronger than ever, more intense that it had been in that last week, in his life, _**how did I keep it together for a whole week? I am exhausted, I am fucked up, she fucked me up. That bitch.**_ Daniel was overwhelmed by everything going on in his life, he could barely manage anymore, and his rock, what was keeping him going, Emily was a lie too; so he let go of the façade, the strong-CEO look was not for him, so he decided maybe it was time to cry, he was going to cry as much as he could, _**maybe when I'm done my heart will be as cold as hers, maybe she ran out of pain and was left with pure anger.**_

Daniel took the bottle next to him and poured more of its contents in the fire that was starting to put out, as he saw it grow the tears began to stream down his face making a path towards the sand he took a sip of whatever he'd, brought because what harm could a drink do?. _**Okay scotch, you're my friend for the night, let's discuss how she completely screwed me over and now wants to go to France with me. **_Daniel was sitting on the beach hoping the bottle could take him through the night, _**the issue here is I had a great time in the last two dates or whatever we've and maybe I'd like to go to France with her, if I overlook the fact that she's a sociopath and has actively been destroying my life ever since I met her. God how did I let my life get so weird? I should have stayed in England; I don't even want to run the goddamned company, I wanted to write and now I have to wear a suit Monday through Saturday. What am I going to do with all of this? My mom will kill her if I let her know and god, the I told you so is not her best look, and poor Charlotte she'd have to find out her sister is not her sister and her real sister is a crazy bitch, and I am sure Jack Porter would follow her to federal prison if he needed to, same as fucking Aiden, and Nolan too, Jesus how did she get all of us to fall so easily? seriously no one cares enough to investigate people thoroughly, how did Frank overlook the whole different person when he looked into her past, it was probably not his fault, she might be a ninja or a Jedi, fuck anything is possible, maybe I should send my poems again, I have my own contacts by now, oh my god she probably killed Frank. She's a ninja, that's why she speaks Japanese and runs so fast, I wonder why she hasn't killed the whole family by now, maybe she's poisoning us slowly, it's in the air conditioning, I'll have it fixed tomorrow, I am sitting out in the open here, she can shoot me from her house if she wants to, oh god, she probably killed Tyler too, hell maybe she developed the two-places-one-person ability and she shot him, I never gave him credit, he told me something was wrong and I thought it was just because he was slightly disturbed, maybe Ashley is in it too, they were BFF and then she sold her out when the whole Jack situation went down, it was part of the plan, I'll get her fired tomorrow too. How did she got me to fall two times? Am I that stupid? I mean, she seemed so perfect, so sweet and honest and no gold digger and smart and supportive and hot, god she's hot, I should have known better, no one is that hot without being evil. I'm going to Paris with her, wait what No Daniel no, fuck how stupid am I? Why am I still thinking on going? I might be drunk, this is some strong scotch.**_

Amanda dragged her feet up the stairs leading to her porch her eyes involuntarily trailing to the fence where her father had carved the symbol she now had on her wrist, its meaning weighing on her shoulders as she opened her door, _**a journey with no end?, I guess it's ending now.**_ The last week had been excruciating and the picture did not seem like it was getting any better soon. She had carried nice conversations with Daniel as Amanda, but the improvement that that fact could have represented was immediately undermined every time the small chat as much as poked the past or the future of the relationship. _**How stupid was I? thinking love would make this right like I lived in some kind of fairytale**_- she thought as she drew herself a bath hoping it would help her sleep better than she had the nights before.

Even though her face was calm her mind was buzzing with the scenarios her confession had caused, _**my revenge is over, that's sure, no matter what Daniel decides there's no way I can continue, unless he joins me, but he's too soft for that, he's a good man who just got the wrong family.**_ That fact made her hate herself, she had chosen a man over her father, and a Grayson man to make the whole situation even worse, and she felt like dying because of it but she'd also felt like dying every waking minute she'd spent lying to him, _**he**_ _**is perfect,**_ he was far from perfect but she loved his flaws all the same, she really had never felt what she felt for Daniel, a life where she hurts him was a unfathomable option, he wanted him to be safe and, well, happy more that she wanted his parent destroyed and even when she knew that was going to sit on the back of her mind and irk her for the rest of her life she couldn't bring herself to care when a lifetime with Daniel was in the same table.

But her side of the future was sealed and the rest was on Daniel's decisions the ball was on his side of the court for once and she was hoping he'd like to continue the match. As it was no help to think on what might be going through his head Amanda thought maybe a contingency plan review would do no harm. _**If he decides to give this a try then I'd have to erase Amanda's death and marriage certificate in order to live by my own name or I'd have to stick with Emily Thorne and I'm guessing that is not going to do, god, a third name maybe? No, enough lies, I can get Nolan to erase those records, and then explain it to him, but he would have to deal with his family, that's going to be complicated. But if he decides to end this there's two options, he exposes me or he lets me go; In the first case, I have new passports so it would be a matter of get to the airport before my face is on the news, lose the phone, the IDs, the credit cards, the house, Nolan, and start over, I'd miss it but I have done it before, and if he'd just let me go, break the engagement and go be Emily Thorne somewhere else, London's nice this time of the year I guess, I could come back once in a while, visit Nolan and Jack and why not, Charlotte, spend my money travelling around running from the truth, I sure had fun being angry and rich the last time.**_

After an hour of reckoning and planning while staring at the ceiling, mapping its surface, she admitted that, as enlightening as the bath was, it would not help her get any sleep so she got out and reached for her towel thinking that maybe she'd watch a movie to distract her mind. After she had put on the coziest pajamas in her wardrobe she went downstairs thinking she should finally eat the ice cream Nolan had left in her fridge when he was homeless, _**I am entitled to at least on cliché**_. As she walked to the sofa with the Ben & Jerry's in her hands the box she'd left carelessly in the center table caught her eye making her forget about any chick flick moment she'd planned for herself, _**maybe I should show it to him, walk him through the process, no, that would not help at all, would it?. But I'll do it tomorrow, full disclosure, right?**_, Amanda was asking a much smarter inner self as she eyed the paper cutouts and pictures next to the red sharpie –"Full disclosure"- she whispered to herself as she took the box up to her room. Looking through her window she saw a fire in the distance, _**what kind of human being thinks is a good idea to come to the beach this late? It's not even summer yet, it's not teenager season yet. Oh god, the ice cream's going to melt, what could be on at 1am? I'll watch the notebook again.**_


	7. Chapter 7

After his late night Daniel was determined on taking his life back, so in a poorly thought move he had stop by his place to wash his face and brush his teeth, put on his game face and walk to Amanda's house to brief her on what was going through his mind. -"Hello"- Daniel said from the porch. –"So you actually look that good every morning"

-"Oh, thanks"- she said standing at her door wondering what could bring him to her house so early but sipping on the compliment

-"Two blushes, one week. You're on fire Grayson"- he said after noticing the red spreading through his face –"May I come in?"

-"Yes, of course"- she said clumsily walking away from the doorstep. _**What's wrong? I'm better than this. **_–"Would you like some coffee? I feel like I should be more awake for this?"- She said pulling herself together.

-"Don't do that"- Daniel replied quickly as he sat on the couch and noticed the empty ice cream jar

-"I thought you liked my coffee"

-"Not the coffee, you're going into Emily Thorne mode. I can spot it now"- he told her observing her every move

"Oh, I wasn't- it's just, you're making me nervous, and I am not a nervous wreck, so I guess it's instinctive. I'll try for it to stop"- she said sheepishly but clumsily once again

Daniel couldn't help his smile as he saw Amanda shift her weight between her feet before realizing she'd left the ice cream jar in the table next to The Notebook's case and running to grab them and get them out of sight. –"Your nervous wreck is extremely adorable Amanda"

-"Oh"- She said suppressing a noise that wasn't really human, and fighting the red coming up to her cheeks again

-"Three times, this is uncanny. Also you forgot to make your coffee"

-"Right"- Amanda whispered to herself, turning and almost tripping with the kitchen island

-"But as much as I like to cause this"- Daniel said gesturing towards her with his hands –"I'm here to do something more important, come sit, you don't need the coffee"

-"You are scaring me now"- she replied as she occupied the space next to him being careful to sit close but not too close since she didn't really know how that relationship was going, one of the perks of the fake engagement is that she could always be close, extremely close, she could just sit next to him, smell his cologne, kiss him, hold his hand, sleep next to him, watch him smile and think she wanted to confess, now that she had, that privilege was gone and she found herself wanting to get closer.

-"Don't be scared, I- Well yeah, be scared. Last night, after the charity I went down to the beach-"

-"Oh god, that was you?"

-"Yeah, point is, I was really mad, I burnt my sheets because they smelled like you-"

-"Oh-"

-"Yes, and I realized I still have plenty to say to you, just like I do with almost everyone, so I came here to exorcise my demons. I took the day off and you can move whatever shopping spree you had to the afternoon, 'cause you're going to listen."

-"I actually have something to show you"- she replied remembering the full disclosure politic she had casted upon herself"

-"After I exorcise please"

-"Isn't that double the exorcising?"

-"I don't care, I have a list and everything"- he said pulling a neatly folded sheet of paper out of the pocket of the sweatshirt

"I think I am going to need a glass of water"- she said as she stood up and walk to the kitchen, _**or vodka**_ she thought as she looked for the bottle Aiden had left behind.

-"Is it holy?"- He nervously joked from the living room –"I'm kidding, c'mon Amanda, let's do this"- he finished as she headed back to the sofa

-"I can smell the one hundred percent of vodka in your water but I'm ignoring it because I'm a little bit drunk myself and I like hardcore you, she's probably great in bed"

-"What'? Do you really want to exorcise while you're that drunk? Anyway don't get used to it. This is the last of the only bottle."

"Shame. Now listen: Let's begin with the obvious, I feel vastly betrayed, in the last year I let you in and you used that to destroy the people I love, that cannot possibly be right in any book, so that brings us to the next point: You made me feel stupid, you know how that infuriates me, I know you know because I've told you, I feel like everything my mother ever told me is real, that I'm gullible and everyone around me manipulates me to further their agendas like I'm not even worth looking at if they don't need me for their ends; and I feel even more stupid when I remember I believed her until I found you, and then I turned the target to my mother thinking the issue was her, and you were playing me, the issues is me, I'm too stupid to see past my nose and people take advantage of that. And now we have arrived to the third point: God I hate you, I mean, who the fuck do you think you are? You break hell loose on us and just sit back, watch, how is that better than what my parents did? They're awful, but you're down there with them; and I guess we're back at point two, I felt amazing every time I'd come down from the office and talk about all this fucked up things happening in my life and all these shady decisions I had to make to my fiancée and she'd be incredibly thoughtful and understanding about them and she'd make me feel like I wasn't a bad person, I used to think I was the luckiest bastard on earth, my mom certainly didn't reassure my dad like you reassured me, I thought you were like a gift from heaven or something, but know I know that the only way anyone would be with someone involved in all of this like I am is if they're in it too. And now another point to exorcise, and this one is a plot twist, I love you, but I fell for Emily, how am I supposed to know how much Amanda was in Emily? Amanda seems like a nice girl: I'd fall for her in a heartbeat too, fuck I'd fall for anyone apparently, but Emily was perfect, you know, I was going to quit my job to go live with her 24/7, hell knows we could afford that, but she's gone and now this Amanda chick's in the picture and she's just amazing too, as hot as Emily but more human, you see this one gulps beer and blushes when I compliment her, instead of saying things like 'oh stop' she actually blushes and gets nervous, and she watches movies like The notebook, I'd quit my job for her too but she has a dark, and I mean dark, past , and she has hurt me a lot, But I still love her, I still love you some much it hurts. And all these points, specially the last two ones brings us here: I am conflicted, I am so conflicted I burnt silk sheets in the beach as I yelled at the ocean and drunk a bottle of scotch at 2 am. I, Daniel Grayson, have lost the last shed of control I held over my life, I'm not sure if I should call the feds on you for all you've done because I love you, and I'm not sure if I should just let it go and give you a second chance because I hate you, and mostly I don't know if this is part of your crazy plan or if I'll ever trust you again. I am troubled, I'm a mess, you single handedly messed me up and I have to fake everything's fine and burn my anger at 2am because I don't want to jeopardize you and I can´t do anything rash because my dad felt like running the kingdom and one breath in the wrong direction could send him flying back to my seat in the board, a sit I didn't even want in the first place. I hope you enjoyed that, there's more but I covered the bases and I really haven't had breakfast, do you have bagels?"

Daniel's question met silence in the empty space between them for Amanda didn't even know how to begin to apologize for all she'd just heard, so she just shot him an apologetic look he quickly avoided not wanting her to see how the strength he'd gathered to say all he needed her to know was fading away leaving space in his face for sorrow and frustration. –"Whatever, I know you do, I'll take one if you don't mind"- he said faking indifference as he stood up from the sofa walking to the kitchen to regroup and why not look for bagels. After a few minutes he managed to pull himself together once again and grabbing two plates, two glasses, bagels and orange juice came and sat down next to her again –"Questions or opinions? On the exorcising I mean, not the breakfast. I am not leaving and no one is coming to get me so you might as well chip in the conversation"- he said pointing out the sepulchral silence that had taken over the blonde.

-"Daniel I- you know what, let me show you something first"- she finally said as she remembered the box thinking that I would be better to get rid of all the demons haunting them at once. Ignoring the improvised breakfast she got up walking upstairs to look for it.

-"Don't jump"- he joked watching her rush up the stairs. Fear in his tone showing the vulnerability he was trying to hide and letting her know he needed to hear whatever was going on in her mind after his cleanse.

-"I won't."- She replied implying in her tone that, beyond the joke, she was not one to flee and she was definitely not giving up on the relationship just yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Amanda put the box in the center table next to the bagels, standing for a few seconds struggling with the decision she'd made the night before and praying to any god that would listen for a good outcome, she saw Daniel's eyes darken in recognition of the symbol

-"I see it goes with your tattoo, and you carved into the fence too, right?"

-"I didn't know you've noticed that"- she said surprised of his attention to detail and the fact that he never asked about it, Emily Thorne was not exactly the vandalize-fences type. –"My dad carved it, and got me the box, sort of, he left it with Nolan for me after I got out of juvie"- she said, still standing next to the couch, figuring out a way to explain its contents to him

-"Nolan's at the door"- Daniel's voice took her out of her thoughts -"Should I?"

-"Oh no, you sit, I'll go. I'm already standing"- she replied as she rushed towards the door, not planning on letting him in. She had made a point to keep the whole situation a secret from Aiden, Nolan and even Takeda until Daniel gave her an answer and she could assess the repercussions of her confession in their lives. Aiden was definitely going to need a new job and a new angle for his own revenge given he decided to keep going, Nolan could be facing some serious charges if Daniel felt like throwing her out to the wolves, and as much as she tried to keep Takeda out of danger, his involvement with Aiden would raise reservations.

As soon as Amanda opened the door Nolan breezed past her inside, not giving her a chance to retain him outside, -"This morning we have Demily engaging in premarital breakfast, they are most definitely going to burn in hell kids, specially him for making her ignore every call from her lovable best friend"- His walk towards the sofa came to a sudden end when he noticed the box in front of Daniel, -"So D, do you mind if I take the Emily part of the equation for a second?"

-"No, I need some time alone with my bagel. But do you mind giving me a sneak peek?"- Daniel said pointing at the lock in the box

-"I'd rather you wait until I come back. Please?"- She answered implying in her tone Nolan would be out of there soon.

-"Please?"- Nolan mirrored

-it's okay, but be brief Nolan, I'm having separation anxiety"

After taking her to the kitchen Nolan eyed Daniel for a few seconds before facing Amanda with a questioned look, -"Why is he making bad jokes?"

-"He's had a though night"

-"Oh, Did he forget the safe word?"- His question met silence at the other end of the conversation, –"On another point, I see you bought him, wild guess, a mini Ferrari and put it in an infinity box replica. It really does say Happy Saturday, sorry for the ball gag"

-"No."- She said giving him a knowing look

-"Is that _the_ box?"

-"Yes"

-"And here comes the important question, did one of your mighty archenemies hit you in the head?"

-"I am telling him the truth"

-"_The_ truth?"

-"How many truths are there? She's telling me the one where she destroys my family"- Daniel said coming from the living room and walking to the dishwasher –"But you're kind of on the middle right now"

-"Yep, that's _the_ one. Then I guess I am going to leave you and Danny boy to work out the details and—"

-"Oh no, Nolan please stay. I'm sure you can chip in"- Daniel said putting his arm around Nolan's shoulder and taking him back to the couch

-"Daniel leave him out of this, please"- she said to their backs

-"Oh c'mon, he wants to help, don't you?"

-"Is scotch an acceptable substitute for coffee? Absolutely"- he said wryly dreading the rest of his morning

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

-"Oh my god Amanda"- Daniel said as he got up from the couch creating needed space between them

-"We're calling you Amanda now? Or is it only for newly appointed members of the truth club?"- Nolan said not really expecting them to listen to him

-"You have bankrupt companies, destroyed careers, exposed secrets and gotten people killed. How are you not looking the least bit ashamed right now? My god, you just told me all that without even blinking. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're the same as them; you're the same as the people you're screwing over.

-"I know."

-"You- you know?" – He said beginning to raise his voice –"You disgust me"- he yelled.

-"You know, at least I did what I did because they fucked up my life first, they did it solely because they could and they wanted to"- she yelled back standing up to face him

-"So, Amanda, do you have some popcorn?"- Nolan said from his seat hoping they would focus in his distasteful joke to defuse the tension and avoid murder, when he was ignored he felt like the son of an abusive marriage

-"Because of them I, as a 9-year old, was practically an orphan, I was sent from foster home to foster home until one burned down, a fire I was blamed for and sent to a correctional center that was not exactly heartwarming, because of them I, the whole country, hated my father, I thought he was a monster for years, they got him killed in jail, just like they did with the poor bastard I helped frame to get you out of last year, they framed and murdered an innocent man and left his 9 years old daughter drift in the system, and I'm awful because I want them to pay?"

-"You disgust me,"- He replied, now mere inches from her face in a low menacing tone –"As much as they do."

-"I'm righting wrongs"

-"You did nothing right. Can you just admit that?"- He asked thinking that maybe if she saw how skewed the way she'd taken the whole thing he could start forgiving her

-"Oh, so what was I supposed to do? Call the FBI? Have faith in the good American system? Or sit there knowing my dad's name was stained for eternity and the people responsible were busy with polo matches and masquerades? Sure Daniel. You know that if I wanted justice to be done, I had to do it myself."

-"Then why didn't you hand the goddamned evidence when you had the opportunity? Why not just stop it when you could? You had everything you needed on that computer, and there was a time where I brought the hard drive that would close the case right into your house, why not fucking end there? Even my mother was willing to testify"

-"I tried okay. I told you it was stolen, I got Nolan to take the evidence to the detective and then your parents' henchman brought down the stupid plane destroying the evidence and, somehow managing to leave the bitch of your mother alive, proving once more _you can't trust the fucking system._ Anyway, it's bigger than mommy and daddy Daniel_"_

-"Oh you want to bring down the initiative, is that it?"- He said before raising his voice again –"Or is it about the never ending pain you want to cause us?"- He yelled making clear he was putting his money on the latter.

-"I AM ENDING IT NOW"- she yelled back loud enough to make Daniel look at her with fear in his eyes -"I AM FUCKING ENDING IT NOW BECAUSE I LOVE YOU"- she finished as her fist met the center table punching a hole trough it's wooden surface.

Nolan who had been cautiously sitting out the conversation cringed at the sound of the wood breaking. –"I think that's my cue"- was the only thing he managed to say a he surrounded with his arms a stiff- with-rage Amanda and sat with her on the couch while she tried to calm down before someone was hurt

Daniel was fixated to the floor as he tried to process what had just happened, eyes trained in the table, _**she punched a hole through the table, is she a black belt? She could have snapped my neck my sleep, you're always picking the crazy ones Danny.**_ A few minutes passed by, tension thickening in the air as Amanda tried to pull herself together with her hands covering her face but being impossible to hide the slight shaking in her arms, Nolan still with his arm around her had made a point to look at the far wall and Daniel still in the same point paralyzed by fear but still full on anger and getting a sick satisfaction of watching her break down, unlike the last time she had done it, now Daniel was not sure he could tell her he'd work on it.

Daniel was the first to cut the silence in a barely audible but strong comment, -"I am going home"

-"We're not done here"- She said, her voice muffled by her hand still covering her face

-"What?"

-"I said we're not done"- Amanda replied firmly as she stood up making Nolan look up and Daniel stumble backwards instinctively moving for the first time for the last half an hour, _**oh god she is going to kill me**_

-"I really thought you'd understand, with everything you've seen them do, I didn't though I'd _disgust_ you, I thought you'd forgive me and we'd give it a shot"- She said akin to a monologue a Hollywood villain would say to the hero before attempting to kill him, which only made Daniel more frightened and faithful for the staged interruption that would save him

-"You want me to- to just move on? I don't think I can do that"

-"No Daniel" – Her voice softer now that she'd gotten a hold of herself –"I'd like you to forgive me and give me a chance because I really love you"

-"Tell me you're sorry"

-"Do you want me to lie to you?"

-"Are you seriously not sorry?"

Amanda thought for a moment in the collateral damage her declaration of war had caused, but even if it hurt her she found that she wouldn't change a thing, _**in the viper's nest you must be a viper too**_, so she kept quiet making him know.

-"Then I guess we're done here"- Daniel said before shooting her a disapproving glare and walking to the door considering not ever coming back.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey! I struggled with this one, really. I'm really grateful for the reviews and I hope you like it

* * *

Saturday had gone by, the weight of her decisions pinning Amanda to her bed, leaving her in her worse. She had never been one to break down: when her mother left she acted as if she had never been there in the first place, when her father was gone too she channeled her pain into anger, when the system got her she made sure to be stronger than anyone in it with her, when she found out what they had done she made them pay, but when Daniel walked out that door Amanda saw no reason to fight anymore, no reason to prove her worth or keep up an image so she decide to break down for a while.

She had nothing left, there had always been so little in her life after they took her father that she gad gown to believe she didn't truly need anything, by that principle she put herself through all she did, as she saw it she had nothing to lose and everything she won was already a lot; and perhaps it was true. Amanda had carried a life that left no traces or strings behind her but paperwork; it wasn't until she met Emily she had something to come back in her tracks for and after that only when she came to the Hamptons for her vengeance did she get any semblance of a emotional bond, and even there, when she appreciated Charlotte, Jack and her father's house, she could only think of Nolan as a irreplaceable part of her life, besides _him_ of course. And now that she had come clean and Daniel wasn't showing any signs of forgiveness he was probably going to be wiped from her existence as well, maybe worse.

Amanda lay in the bed wondering what could possibly be Nolan's fate, she had made such an effort to live like she did because, even from in her childhood, everything she touched reduced to ashes. She had let Nolan in, reluctantly, because she wasn't expecting him to become what he became to her, and now she would be there to watch him turn to dust because she had made a mistake, exactly like it happened with Emily.

And exactly like it was happening with Daniel's heart, Amanda was sorry, she was sorry he had been caught in the crossfire but she wasn't sorry about firing, she was regretted choosing him as her way in but she did not regret looking for one in the first place. And as she put a pillow atop of her face that admission ate her alive because she loved him but she loved her father too, and she really would like to feel she should have done better by him so she could give him the apology he wanted but she just didn't and was not going to lie. She had spent so many years hurting, and convincing herself she had to bring justice to him it was impossible to rid herself of the idea to feel sorry for what she had done; she could not bring herself to feel sorry but she could bring herself to stop and in that moment Amanda prayed to whatever superior force out there that would be enough for him, but again, she'd never been lucky, had she?

Amanda zoomed out, she lay in her bed for hours without feeling time go by, she felt numb, her mind pass the point of worry or regret, focused in the slight movement of a sheet of paper in the night table by the window, she had her eyes trained in the way a small breeze lift it up and how it struggled to go away, let herself be carried by it, but found resistance where a small notepad held it in the place. It had been hours of mindless observation when the first sound in a while made its way into her brain not really being properly registered and causing no movement whatsoever, a few minutes as the sound intensified Emily came out of her open-eyed slumber, the thuds now missed with words. A yell of "Emily!" finally made her drag out of bed to her door not really paying attention to the fact that somehow, someone was in her house , she opened the door, her hair tangled in different places, eyes fluttering and the sheets wrapped around her body and sweeping the floor behind her

-"Good, you're still breathing" Nolan said pretending to be calm

-"You should have left Nolan, I can't believe you're still here" She managed out, her voice was hoarse and id didn't project the usual strength which worried him a bit

-"You look great, like you don't need me here at all"

For a second Amanda felt self-conscious, she straightened her back and pulled the sheets tighter around her body like the tighter they were the more presentable she was, only to remember seconds after it was no use anymore, she was well aware Nolan knew she was a mess. Still she insisted "I don't need you here, it's neither your fault nor your mess to fix"

-"You don't need me here? Reality check Ems, it's 6pm and you haven't eaten anything all day, you haven't showered, you have been in bed for over 7 hours straight"

-"Amanda"

-"Well Amanda, It's time for an intervention"

-"Nolan just go home, I'll put myself together tomorrow and then I'll call you" She said before closing the door refusing to hear Nolan's protests

She dragged herself back to bed and let herself fall in it rather unceremoniously making a loud noise that alerted Nolan. "What was that?"

-"I'm okay. Go"

"Sure _Amanda_"

Amanda shut her eyes suppressing tears she had not felt coming until she saw her only friend outside her door worrying about her, she wondered if he had even thought of the amount of ways which what she had done could screw him over, she wondered why exactly had he spent nearly eight hours In her house looking after her when she had potentially single-handedly destroyed everything he'd ever worked in for completely selfish reasons. She thought the only thing she could do right there was to spare him of dealing with a mental breakdown patient, little did she know he had no intention of going anywhere more than a few steps away from her bedroom's door.

* * *

Daniel on the other hand had always had a lot in his life, not only money but everything else, even when he wasn't close to his family he had always held his father in the highest of regards, like he was some kind of god, he had always loved his mother and admired the way she carried herself and he had always looked after his little sister, even back when he went to boarding school Daniel's life had never lacked family vacations and holidays with the grandparents; he had never been the shy kid in the school and women noticed him wherever he went. Anyone with eyes could see he had a nice, balanced life, he was living dream: family, friends, ivy league, women, money, the whole thing, everything had been nearly perfect for him, at least until Amanda made her way into the picture, all it took was a week or so after that labor day for his life to start crumbling under his feet threatening to swallow him whole

After what seemed like the longest two hours of his life Daniel left Amanda's house without a clue as to what to do next, his mind was settled on just getting over her but somehow he just couldn't, and didn't know how to change that. He wanderer in the beach for a few minutes trying to brainstorm his way out of the situation, like the it could be solved with the methods one would use in an economic crisis, and then he decide to deal with the one pain he felt in the moment he could actually deal with, hunger. Since lunch the day before he had thrown nothing but alcohol and a bagel into his stomach; as much as he wanted to have something as soon as possible his only choices were to either go home, which he was dreading, or go to some restaurant where anyone whit a phone could take a picture of he looking like a homeless man.

He came into the manor hoping he could go unnoticed to the kitchen and take something, anything, to the pool house, but his plan was stopped by a familiar voice

-"Danny!"

He turned on his heels to see his ex grinning widely at him next to Victoria, sitting in a sofa

-"Hey Jennifer" H e answered putting no effort in sounding happy to see her

-"Were you running?"

-"That seems like the logical explanation, doesn't it?" Victoria chimed sarcastically before sipping tea, or coffee, or orphan blood for all he knew

-"I can't believe she made you run, you wouldn't step a foot in a gym when we were in college, and I begged"

-"huh?"

-"Your fiancée"

-"Speaking of which, where is Miss Thorne? I was expecting to see her this morning, since the charity finished late last night" Victoria asked with a faked innocence Daniel had learned to spot

-"She's home"

-"You don't live together?"

-"Jennifer I'm too hungry to do this right now"

-"Well shower and I'll buy you lunch, we still need to catch up"

Daniel sighed "Sure", he agreed to her request, well aware if he didn't she wouldn't rest until he did, and hoping a lunch with her constant going on and on about, well, everything would take his mind off the most pressing issues in his hands at the moment.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed, liked and followed the story, it truly means a lot to feel like people like what I'm writing, it makes me very happy :D Also I would love to get some evil reviews because critizing is fun and there's probably something I could improve, and with something I mean more than half, just let me know what. Ok cool Revenge fans, on with the story**

* * *

Daniel took a long needed cold shower to clear his mind, the events of the ending week flashed in his head no matter how much he fought them. As he got out of the shower he found himself wondering what could he wear in order to look good for a lunch with his ex, _**there is no need to let her know I'm a mess now,**_ he chose a pair of jeans and a white polo shirt because, hell it was Sunday, and even if he didn't had time to shave he reckoned the scruff looked slightly good so he'd keep it for the day.

He went back to the main house and found her smiling politely at Victoria, who loved her as she loved anyone se could manipulate easily, while she told her apparently everything that had happened in the last years, skipping the part where she was a monster of course. Jennifer noticed his presence and got a bit agitated at Victoria's storytelling but didn't really had the nerve to interrupt her, Victoria spared her anyway growing annoyed at the girl's lack of attention

-"Well you both look ready, go"

-"Oh I couldn't, not without hearing what else has happened over here these days"

-"There's hardly more dear, go, I have other business to attend"

-"Goodbye Victoria" she replied standing up with her and kissing her in the cheek

-"Don't be a stranger, I beg of you"

-"Never again"

They left the house and Daniel sat into the passenger's seat of her car, even after the shower he didn't feel up to driving anywhere and she probably needed her car out of there anyway or she would have to go back; it was the same silver Audi she had used since they were in Harvard, Daniel smiled to himself as he replayed the memories made in that car, countless night spent in the backseat, after all there was a side of her crazy he had actually enjoyed. She noticed the smile in his face and met his eyes giving him one in return

-"Seriously same car? I thought you were a big shot at your family's company now"

-""You know how much I love my car Danny"

After a few minutes of silence that weren't as awkward as they should have been between an engaged man and his ex girlfriend in their way to a lunch date she asked "is it okay if I drive us to the city?"

-"You are going to have to feed me first if you want to get me to Manhattan alive"

-"You're still such a 3-year old. There are Oreos in my purse"

-"There's always Oreos in your purse" he said with a chuckle as he went through the incredibly large amount of different stuff in the purse

-"You couldn't have a hungry Jennifer in class"

-"We barely went into classes, and what's your excuse now?"

-"You can't have a hungry Jennifer in executive meetings Danny"

"Nobody has called me Danny years ago" he said halfway into one of the Oreos in the package.

The rest of the drive to the city was calm with a few comments back and forth, they had a silent agreement to keep the real catching up for lunch and were left with small conversation, but even yet it didn't feel forced. When they arrived to a small Italian restaurant on the west side of the park Daniel's hunger had grown despite having guzzled down four packs of oreos. When they sat on a table near the main window with a great view of the park Daniel immediately looked for the waiter and held his hand up to let him know he could order. After he left with both their orders he seemed a bit relaxed

-"Hungry are we?" she said

-"why yes, I haven't eaten anything that counts since lunch yesterday"

-"You just swallowed 24 cookies"

-"Look at you doing math, what an executive"

-"24 Danny"

-"You count your oreos?"

-"I take my oreos seriously"

They had a nice lunch together, talking about what had happened in their lives in the few years she hadn't managed to track him down, Daniel totally forgot the psychotic side of her as he listened to her about trips and how they parents had managed to make her work in the company finally, he remembered why they had been together, they were so alike, just two people born into the mess their parents had created and trying to find a way out but always pulled back in, two people who didn't really wanted to carry on with the curse they had for a legacy but somehow ended up going to boarding school, and Harvard, and running said curse, two people who really enjoyed watching stupid things like transformers but also reading Shakespeare to each other, two people who had shared the greatest years of their lives until it got ruined. Daniel remember how easy everything was back then, they had a casual relationship, no one discussed forever, even if she wanted to, and Daniel knew she did, Jennifer was always scared to do anything to lose Daniel so she went with the casual option for as much as her conscience let her but when it was too much and she wanted more he backed out, Daniel didn't felt ready for that commitment, with Emily it took him nothing to realize but well, Emily was Emily, he felt the pang of pain again thinking of how screwed up that was and how it would never be easy again. He recalled how his relationship with Jennifer ended for another minute until it downed on him

-"Oh shit"

-"What?'"

-"I brought you here the weekend-"

-"after you took me to meet your parents"

-"And then I-"

-"Broke up with me because you didn't feel like you were ready to have me in the same place as your parents"

-"Not you, anyone. Meet the parents? Seriously I mean, yeah, that's like married step one"

-"and here we are, you're now an engaged man, married step two"

-"well yeah, but, It's different" he said thinking in everything that had made him think that spending lifetime with Emily Thorne was a good idea and regretting every second of it

-"It was only like 3 years ago Danny, it wasn't you, it was me"

-"Sure you're kind of a stalker, but you're great, I totally like you, as a friend now"

-"Coincidences do happen"

-"sure, let's go with that"

They finished their lunch and Daniel told her he had to take care of some of his CEO responsibilities in order to save himself of a drive back home so as she saw her drive away he found himself drifting back to Amanda and feeling sick again, as he crossed to sit on a bench in the park he decided to stop avoiding it, it was time to make a decision, either swallow it and go to France or find the guts to end it, he was only sure he was going to let her get away with it, there was no way he would set himself up to failure like that, _**what if she gets out of jail, I'm next In the red sharpie thingy, what she did is done and it is fair, sort of, no more FBI for me thank you very much.**_

* * *

Amanda drove to Nolan's house determined to keep her promise to pull herself together. It was a new week and it was meant to be better than the last one, because no week could be possibly worse, and that was coming from someone who had had a fair share of bad weeks. She parked her car and got in with her set of keys to find a cup of coffee half drank and a folded newspaper on the center table, she called for Nolan a few times and after getting no answer she figured he'd be somewhere in the huge mansion he couldn't hear her but as the coffee was there still warm he would be out soon so she took the news paper and read. She was halfway into the economics section when he came out

-"I just left your house, how is this possible, do you teleport?"

-"You slept in my house? Again?"

-"Only for the Wi-Fi"

She sunk her eyes back in the newspaper in order to appear calm, she had no intention of letting him know how endearing she found that

-"I see you're alive"

-"I told you I'd put myself together today" she said as she flipped from the economics section. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on the newspaper intently

-"Ems? " nothing. "I mean Amanda?" still nothing. "Great crossword solving, no pencil needed?" Silence.

After a minute of reading carefully Amanda changed her unreadable expression for one of sheer anger "This is fucking bullshit"

-"There is no four word letter for coffee, I know"

Emily dropped the newspaper on the table; Nolan's eyes fell to the giant picture occupying three fourths of page six where Daniel was smiling widely to a woman in front of him holding up a fork to his face with a grin herself. The bold letters read _The ghost of Love Past? _Nolan picked it up from the table to read the slightly smaller text "_Daniel Grayson, newly appointed CEO of Grayson Global, heir to the NYC throne was seen yesterday having a quite cheerful lunch with Jennifer Jenkins , executive in the real state giant Globuilding, heir to the Boston throne"_

Amanda stood calmly by the chair she had previously been sitting in meeting Nolan's eyes and giving him a look that screamed 'don't even try'. He kept reading the article _"The pair have quite a long history, having maintained a relationship for over two years when they attended Harvard and apparently toured the world together by what we see in this pictures from her facebook account below" _there were photographs taken near a landmarks showing Daniel and Jennifer smiling to the camera, even if they both knew they hadn't got there together it sure seemed like it "_we would be happy to announce a makeup between the royals if we weren't so confused over the fact that he had recently announced his engagement –again- with Emily Thorne, of who we know nothing about but that she spends an incredibly large amount of money in charities and has apparently never looked bad in her life"_

"So, do you want me to make you some coffee or…?" Nolan asked after dropping the newspaper in the sofa and dumping himself next to it

Amanda grabbed the newspaper and turned on her heels "I'm going to talk to him, now"

"Careful with the blood splattering, it can ruin a desk Amanda"

-"Nobody's dying Nolan"

-"If we keep this up I am"

Emily felt guilt coursing through her at the words that had more meaning than he thought, she turned back and look at him calmly "I am going to talk, that's it. He can't just begin to date his ex like that, but just talking Nolan"

-"We have to discuss this whole thing, you me and Aiden too. Lunch here?"

-"Yes"


	11. Chapter 11

The elevator door opened and it let out an apparently calm Amanda Clarke, she sauntered her way through the hallway and walk purposefully by Grace's desk without even saying hello, which she couldn't help to notice.

"Go get us breakfast Grace" Amanda said as she made her way to the office's door without sparing her a look

"Mr. Grayson already had breakfast, but what would you like Miss Thorne?" Grace replied annoyed, trying to understand why the ever polite blonde has being so harsh when she looked so peaceful

"Anything" She answered with a finality in her tone that let her know she needed to go, fast, even if it wasn't conveyed by her smile

Amanda pushed the door to the office wide open and her eyes inmediately met Daniel's, who had been sitting behind his desk his his feet propped up on it playing with a baseball that laid in his right hand. She slamed the right door and pushed the other one with her foot before towering to his desk where he remained trying to appear calm even when her now apparent anger scared the shit out of him. She dropped the newspaper fiercly on his desk on page six

-"If you're going to date your ex at least have the decency to break up with me first"

-"How do you just walk in here?"

-"Your assistant, as the rest of the world thinks we're getting married"

-"Oh yeah, well stilll she could let me know"

-" I don't give a fuck if she calls you or not Daniel, Let's discuss the real issue here"

Daniel had picked up the newspaper and was actively trying to avoid Amanda's eyes until he had fully understood the magnitude of the situation, he read the article swiftly and realized it did not leave him in a good spot. "oh please, they're overreacting. Do you want some coffee? I need some coffee" He stood up and walked around his desk and Amanda to get out of his office and tell Grace to get them coffee, and maybe make stay out there for a while but as he opened the door he saw her empty desk and turned back

-"I sent her to get food"

-"Of couse you did"

-"You can't just begin to date other people over one fight"

-"One fight?" Daniel was on a short fuse from the previous day and did not seem to care about Amanda enough to not snap at her "One fight? Are you fucking kidding me? What he had for the last week is not one fight, it's _the _fight, no one can top what he had yesterday _Amanda _and you will not make this look small"

-"I did not say it is small, it's huge Daniel, but that does not make it okay for you to just wait an hour and start going out with your ex, It doesn't"

-"Would you please Calm down, it was nothing, I showed up at home and she was sitting there ready to take me out. After all the shit you told me I wasn't even strong enough to fight her so I said yes, sue me" he gave a little pause before gathering up the courage to continue "and you don't even get to be mad, for all I know you were in love with Jack and Aiden at some point, hell you even slept with him. So shut up and let it go"

Emily came closer to him, only a few inches separating them "One kiss Daniel, it was one kiss and you broke the goddamned engagement, and no I did not cheat on you with Aiden more than you might have cheated on me with Ashley so yes, I will be mad and I will keep yelling at you because you can't go around with your ex because it's easier than to refuse it, because I love you and you're mine"

Daniel, aroused by her strenght at the moment, took the step separating them and kissed her, letting himself forget for a minute everything that had happened between them in the last week, he kept moving foward until the small of her back had met the wooden desk, the unexpected impact causing a soft whimper form her, he slid his hands down until they were on her hips and let his lips fall to the hollow of her neck as he lifted her so she could sit on the desk and advanced between her legs, it wasn't until his hands were undoing her jeans that Amanda found the willpower to stop what she'd been craving since the moment she realized it might never come again

"Daniel… stop…"

"what?" was the only thing he managed before burying himself again in her neck as his hand triled back up to find the zip in the back of Amanda's top

"Stop" She told him, again, even when her hands betrayed her and found their way to his hair and her legs wrapped aroung his waist to push him to her

"Ems… shut up…" he saw as her lips parted to protest but caught her protest with another deep kiss. But it was too late, the use of her fake name had pulled her out of her lustful haze and grounded her on their situation again, so when his lips moved on she finally spoke

"it's Amanda, just Stop Daniel, this is not going to fix anything"

Daniel had stopped kissing her but didn't seem to be moving anywhere given that her legs were still tighly around him "I can't possibly get worse"

"Yes, this will make it worse" she replied as she gently pushed him away feeling the defeat overcome him again, and her own body tense up again as it realized what she was denying to it.

He dropped himself on the couch of the office, as he observed how Amanda unziped her top again and flattened her hair to make it slighly more presentable he thought how everything they had was ruined, and he started to think that as much as he tried he would not be able to rebuild all that, he might forgive but it seemed impossible to forget, let alone find a way to trust this woman again.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to come out all rapist, I just missed this… us"

"I've missed it too"

Grace knocked on the door with one takeout coffee mug and muffin from the coffee shop nearest to the building since it was to early for the cafeteria to be opened. She waited until Daniel came out and handed him the food, she smiled at him eyeing his ruffled hair and loose tie

"Here's her food. Next time she wants Daniel for breakfast she just has to ask, I'll go somewhere else, inside the building, that does not include being chased by homeless people"

"It's not what you think Grace, but I'll make sure she gets the memo"

He walked back in with the takeout bag and coffe and gave them to her before slumping back into his seat "Grace says next time you want me for breakfast you can tell her and she'll go" he smiled to her

"And what should Jennifer tell her?"

His smile faded "Seriously?"

"Seriously"

He kept quiet for a minute going through all the possible responses to her question but found that even if he didn't want to be with Jennifer with everything she'd done it was none of her business. "Amanda, I think we should call this off"

"Why now? Why not yesterday when you said I disgusted you? Because suddenly Jennifer wants you back?"

"Suddenly? She wants me back since the minute after we ended it. This is not about Jennifer"

"Oh poor Daniel, too scared to be on his own he needs to test a backup before getting rid of the current one"

"Excuse me? That is not why I went to lunch with her, and it's not why I'm ending this now. You know exactly why I'm ending this"

"Because you're a child, too scared to take on the responsabilities of your actions but to soft to stand up and walk away from the safe thing. So you stay, you stand by your family, and your company, and your lies, and for the last week by me, not because you're loyal but because you're frightned to have to build from nothing, because it's easier to stick with it no matter how rotten it is than to face change or worse have no one to bail you out. So you end it now that you have someone else to distract you as you would have quit the moment you could have if only there had been another completely built company where you could just inherit the power"

He sat there looking at her, his eyes stung with tears he held back fiercely as he swallowed hard feeling the pain overcome him again, of course she didn't have faith in him, nobody did anyway, why would they, she was right, he was scared to leave because there was nothing else, but he wouldn't give her the pleasure of confirmation, for once he held the advantage and he was not going to spare her of the little pain he could cause so he said "That's exactly why I'm ending this Amanda, you're poisonous, you claim you love me and you gave up your whole little plan for me and yet you will say these kind of things because I threaten to leave. I will not stay for this, I will not sing up for a lifetime of this, knowing you can just flip one day and pull this off over again, I might as well marry my mother for that" Daniel knew the best way to hurt her was by showing her how much she resembled that which she loathed so he continued, standing up in an attempt to corner her both physically and emotionally "You lie, you bribe, you manipulate, you kill, you _smile_ just like her, and if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that I would stay home and learn the arts of deception, but I don't , so this is your cue to leave and disappear Amanda Clarke because I am more than sure you wouldn't love to go to jail again, or take poor little Nolan and poor little Aiden with you"

Amanda as hurt as she could have been remained perfectly calm listening to him and stood her ground until he was breathing her air. When he ended her lips turned into a faint grin and she saw confusion grow in his eyes, after a few seconds she peacefullt spoke, her voice void of emotion as she had practiced for years "If you think you can even begin to take me on Daniel you're wrong, I though you were smarter than this, you have seen what I've done and that is only the tip of what I am capable of, imagine what I would do with your little company and family with all you've told me yourself, now add up everything I might know that you haven't told me and finaly throw scorned woman into the mix and if you're not impressed with that complement with just one of Nolan's hairs and break hell loose. You don't stand a chance, not you, not the FBI, so if I were you I would rethink that threat, it's a little rough around the edges"

Daniel had backed off, witnessing her not-so-passive agression had scared him, he wasn't really considering to call the feds on her he had only said that to cause a little bit more of damage to her psique but now he was more than determined to keep his mouth shut even if she decided to stay and become best friends with Charlotte, he would not put his family through more of her wrath, he was quiet, scared to as much as breathe in a way that would make her mad, so it was her who broke the silence. Amanda took the ring of her finger and placed it in the desk to her left, she let herself take one long look at it for the last time, as if capturing the moment in her mind to cherish, like it would be a good memory anyway, she then faced Daniel and saw the rage mixed with powerlessness and kept her look cold and distant, it was easier anyway "Goodbye Daniel, you won't have to see me ever again"


	12. Chapter 12

Amanda sat in her sofa with her phone in her hands, in its screen the line appeared and disappeared asking her to type, she watched it as she looked for the right words in her mind. She was ready to apologize, she was ready to ask for one more chance but she didn't want to, she didn't want to grovel, she had done as much as she could to have an honest relationship and he had given up, so she did too. After a few minutes she finally tapped her screen, the' type here' message was replaced with a quick "need to talk, Nolan's 1pm" to Aiden, and just like that Amanda felt like it was over, like she was now free to go live a life.

* * *

Daniel did not feel like working that day, so minutes after Amanda left he grabbed his jacket from the back on his chair and walked out, one of the perks of being the CEO is that you make your own hours, so he left with the intention of going home and ripping the band-aid as fast as he could, the faster he told his mother the faster he could begin to forget about her. Grace saw him go out and as her job demanded stopped him in his tracks

"You could be more subtle"

"What?"

"She literally just left; you have to at least give it 10 minutes if you want to look normal"

"Thanks, I'll keep it in mind"

"And, are you going to be back before lunch?"

"No, also cancel my meetings for the afternoon, tell them to reschedule at their liking, I'll be happy to see them any other day"

"That's one long booty call"

"Thanks Grace, good-bye"

The elevator took him to the parking lot in less than a minute, his mind lost in thought and his feet acting without direct command, he got in his car and drove through the streets of Manhattan out of the city, to the Hamptons. He walked into his house ready to take his life back; even when he didn't want to admit it to her he knew she was right, everything Amanda had saved in her for over a year and had finally told him that morning was true, he was a coward who was too scared of change and independency, for Christ sake he still lived in his parents' house, a big house, but still theirs, he worked in their company, he lived under their terms and he thought that was going to change when he married Emily but that was just the same jail with a different jailor. So now he had a purpose, he was going to get over her and become a man of his own.

He walked into the foyer carefully listening if his mother or father were around but only heard his sister speaking seemingly alone in the next room, he went in to find her in her cellphone, when she saw him she ended it quite fast and went to hug him

"Monday morning, why are you home?"

"I have to talk to you, all"

"Mom and dad are home too, I'll go get them"

"Thanks"

After a few minutes Victoria and Conrad came in followed by Charlotte and sat in different chairs each waiting for the speech Charlotte had told them was coming

"I see something's wrong, you wouldn't be bothered to leave the office on a Monday morning if it weren't, were you?" Victoria asked

"Let him talk Victoria" Conrad spoke calmly from his seat

Daniel cleared his throat, building up courage to hear the I told you so that was coming his way "Emily and I have broken up, this time is quite permanent and I am sure you won't be bothered by her presence again" he paused for a minute to take in his family's expressions, Charlotte seemed concerned and slightly upset by it, while Conrad was not hiding his discontents by the news and Victoria was sitting a bit taller with a subtle smirk in her face

"I'm sorry Daniel, but perhaps it was for the best, don't you think?" she said

"Yes mother, I'm glad we both got our hearts broken and you were right"

"May I ask why?" Conrad asked, his voice calm

"It… just happened" Daniel would make sure he would take that secret to his grave, it was too risky to let them know, who knew how they'd take it and how would they choose to retaliate, it was best to let them out of the loop than to have them underestimate her and try to get back.

"I liked her, but whatever makes you happy Daniel" Charlotte said pinning her mother down with a glare

Victoria did not care much about Charlotte's advice and continued to press on the subject "What I don't understand is why you were so persistent on defending her all this time if the situation was so bad again, is it because you were too proud to tell us?"

"No it's not-"

"Oh, so it's about Jennifer?"

"No mother, Jennifer has nothing to do with it"

"Then why on earth would you end your engagement with Miss Thorne, the picture of perfect-"

"Mom drop it, Jesus Christ and you wonder why we don't speak to you, he will tell us when he's ready" Charlotte said standing up from her seat, she hugged Daniel before going out of the room " I have to go back to school"

"Wait, Charlotte just sit another minute"

As she went back to her side of the sofa she was sharing with Conrad Daniel continued "Also, I' going to leave, soon, I have the part of the trust I had asked to go live with Emily in France, so I'll get an apartment in the city and go there"

"A man should have his space" Conrad talked, ever calm

"And I quit"

"That's rather rash Daniel" He replied, still in his sitting position, unruffled

"No dad, I got caught up on this whole thing and I'm done I never wanted that chair"

"And say, who will take care of your family's business?"

"That's not my problem really, for all I care Charlotte in next in line, she doesn't even needs to graduate from high school, buy her a pencil skirt and she's ready to go"

"Oh what? No, I'm going to med school. I'm not running a stock company for the rest of my life"

"You're being foolish Daniel" Conrad started losing his composed look "What are you going to do? Be a poet? Sing songs to pretty girls?"

"Why not? Last time I checked I have a trust fund that allows me to"

"Get out of here." Conrad hissed to his son

"I am planning to. C'mon Charlotte, I'll walk you out, Let's go"

Conrad fell back into his chair as he saw his children leave, he shot back out of the sofa to go serve himself a drink and as he felt the liquor burning down his throat he noticed the smirk on Victoria's lips and raised an eyebrow in confusion

"There goes your CEO dear"

"Why are you smiling?"

"He might spend the rest of his life singing songs to pretty girls but at least he won't spend it with that harpy"

"whatever did she do to you Victoria? I rather have her back talking some sense into him than have him writing sonnets one 100 dollar bills. Whenever she gets involved he either gets million dollar contracts or frames one of your enemies"

"Trust me Conrad, takes one to know one"

* * *

Nolan sat alone in his kitchen looking at the seemingly hundreds of appliances in his shelves he never used wondering how to make a respectable lunch out of them and the next to none supplies in his fridge when the doorbell rang, he went to answer it with the phone ready to order take out in his hands. It was only when he saw Amanda that her remembered what was going to happen in his house, the end of it.

"How did it go?"

Amanda held her hand up let him see the empty finger and walked past him without a word

"Oh, I see. Sorry"

"Order some food"

"Great minds think alike"

They sat in the couch for a few minutes in a deafening silence Nolan realized he couldn't stand

"So, if we're ring less, does that mean some reveagenda is back on, I'll reschedule everything in my book"

"Don't be foolish"

"Foolish Nolan, so if we're ring less, does that mean we're going to jail? I'm too pretty for federal prison, but I think we can at least get domestic arrest"

"Daniel wouldn't dare. He's a coward"

"The love-of-your-life Daniel?"

"Yes, coward"

"So where to go from here captain?"

"Let's wait for Aiden"

Half an hour later Aiden knocked on Nolan's door. He was wondering what was Amanda could have been planning that she wouldn't contact him for over a week. He walked to the couch where Nolan sat with a pizza box in his lap "That's right, I'm met with pizza, like a champ" he smiled at Amanda who kept her face stoic, so he shifted his gaze to Nolan who looked at the pizza like there was nothing more important than it. "Okay, I see something's bothering you two"

Emily sat in the chair opposite to the couch Nolan was sitting on and motioned Aiden to sit next to him

"So, can I grab some pizza?"

"Of course"

He was halfway through the first slice when she spoke "I told Daniel everything"

He put the pizza out of his mouth slowly and swallowed hard before facing Nolan looking for some context and turning back to Amanda "I'm sorry Emily, what?"

"Amanda"

"I thought you didn't go for Amanda, no matter who I was"

"That was before"

"Before you told Daniel?"

"Yes."

"And why exactly is that Amanda?"

"I love him"

"You- you love him?"

"Yes."

"So what? You're gonna have a great life from now on, maybe two kids?"

"He broke up with me"

"He did? I was expecting more drooling and accepting from him."

"Anyways, I told you to be here because we need to discuss how what I did affects both of you"

"Don't change the subject"

"Hardly"

"What did you tell him?"

"Everything Aiden, I told him the truth because I wanted us to have a real chance, but we didn't anyway. Listen please"

"But-"

"I told him everything, naturally that brought questions about you two and in my best attempt to be honest without jeopardizing you guys I told him as much as I could. Nolan's participation didn't really serve as a topic of conversation but it became pretty obvious and as to you Aiden, he asked pretty directly and I told him that you were in it too, that we had history and that you knew you were being framed. Obviously that means you're now unemployed"

Nolan listened carefully and expected an answer from Aiden that ever came, so he finally said something "That's great Mandy, but what does it mean to me? And I'm asking about federal prison"

"Daniel said that he was not planning on handing me over to anyone the other day, and today I made it crystal clear that if he were to do it he would not be able to take us on, and I'm sure I made a lasting impression. As long as you stay away from his way, I'm sure you'll be fine, if he values what's left of his life he won't tell either Victoria or Conrad because they would not let this pass"

"That's just fantastic Amanda, does It work for you?" Aiden asked, sarcasm dripping his voice "You're going to stay away from the love of your life"

"He made it clear we were over, I don't beg"

Nolan hadn't really thought about what she would do with herself until that moment "Wait, so what?"

"I was actually going to ask you one more favor, I was wondering if you could clean every record of Amanda Clarke ever coming back to the Hamptons and getting married, without Jack noticing of course, and make up a trail of Emily Thorne in case Victoria misses me and want to check"

"Well, where are you going? As who are you going?"

"I was thinking London, as Amanda. I'm done with the lying"

Aiden got visibly upset at that answer and started to raise his voice "London? What about Spain?"

"Honestly?"

"We promised that when you were done and I was done we would go there, together. And if you haven't noticed, because of you and your honesty rant I'm pretty much done too"

"We were in love when we made that promise Aiden, a lot has changed"

"What? Daniel? Now you love Daniel? You can't keep your promise because you love Daniel?"

"Yes"

"I don't care. You have to get over him at some point"

"You want Daniel Grayson's sloppy seconds?"

"If the sloppy seconds are you, then yes"

"Aiden I don't think this could work ever again, I was alone when you showed up here and it made me remember what we had when we had nothing but each other, but It wasn't real and you deserve better than to be just a rebound guy. Go start a new life"

He looked at her for a few seconds, watching the honesty in her eyes he knew so well, but still couldn't bring himself to give up so he took a key chain out of his pocket and placed it in the table before her "You know where I'll be, feel free to walk in any day" and just like that he left.


	13. Chapter 13

Amanda left her dojo to go get some coffee, not even a morning of watching insufferable British kids fight each other could out do the toll the restless nights were taking on her; it had been almost three months since she had left The Hamptons and even after all that time she still dreamt of him. She sat at the table with seemingly the only cup of coffee in a sea of tea and brought the warm ceramic to her lips, but she never got around to tilting it to drink after she heard a familiar voice

"I acknowledge the old British literature but you're kind of behind these days"

A woman, with a thick accent was laughing at his comment and talking through it, teasing "Oh to what? The brilliant authors like Stephanie Mayer?"

"Daniel" Amanda whispered into her coffee making the light trails of smoke coming out of it dissipate. She sat still, thinking any movement could warn him of her presence and make him flee. She was hypnotized by his voice, by his laughter, things she hadn't heard in months, things she would try to recall, things she wasn't sure were like she remembered anymore, things she was sure had lost forever, but there she was recognizing them after a split of a second, getting lost in them, "Daniel"

He continued his conversation with the unidentified woman in between sips of his cup "And what do you do? Besides admire the great authors of the united Kingdom"

"I work in a bookshop, Living the dream. What do you do?"

"I write"

"That's your job? Have you published anything?"

"Not really, I've had a short story or two in small magazines but nothing that really makes impact"

"How do you pay for, well everything, your flat and this cup of tea and that nice sweater?"

"I see you think my sweater nice"

"How?"

"I have backup, for rainy days while I get my publishing on"

Amanda sat still with the cup firmly clutched in her hands before her lips in sheer panic to face him and to lose him all at once, she was never one to fear anything but she had made such an effort to get over him and start over that she was afraid that saying anything, even a hello, would undo all her hard work, and even if she didn't want to admit it to herself listening to him, and catching even a glimpse of the back of his head made her unfathomably happy. So she stayed in her chair, knowing that to get out of the coffee shop she'd have to walk past him and his date and expose herself to being recognized; but she didn't count on the universe.

"Amanda, you're honestly the only person that comes here asks a coffee at 1pm and sits there without drinking it. I swear you Americans are just mad" The young guy basically shouted from his bar to her, "if you just want to sit close to me wait for my shift to finish" She glared at him, making him immediately falter and change his tone, but not his volume for her dismay "ok Miss Clarke, you enjoy your everlasting stay"

Amanda let the coffee mug down and felt the anger mixed with panic build up inside of her and was glaring at the waiter when she felt the familiar burn of a gaze on her, she knew it must be Daniel's but was scared to turn around and confirm her theory so she opted for the easy option, she pretended she didn't feel it and kept looking in a different direction hoping for him to think her name and hair were a wicked coincidence. Her concentration on the nail in the far wall died when she heard him pulling the chair across from hers, she turned to find him with a shy smile

"Amanda"

"Daniel" She took the first sip of her now cold beverage to buy her mind some time

"I had not seen you sitting here"

"Same"

He was getting nervous, _why did I think this was a good idea?_ Amanda's eyes were suddenly void of emotion and so was her voice, she had fallen back in the comfort of her façade to avoid the rush of emotions make her head explode. "That dude screamed your name, and I was like what's the deal with that? Huh? Freaky coincidence" he could not believe the word spilling out of his mouth "I had to check, I mean, in London? What are you? Jennifer?" Daniel was trying to stop himself but her silence to it all was only making him feel the urge to carry both parts of the conversation "So London? Why? You're not tracking me down or anything?"

"I'm not"

"Right, I was kidding, I didn't think you were following me"

"Good"

"Okay, Amanda you're creeping me out, Why are you so monosyllabic?"

"I'm not"

"Honestly?"

Amanda breathed visibly through her nose before relaxing a little bit "Why are you talking to me?

"I saw you here, and I'm sure you saw me there, why not catch up?"

"Honestly?"

"I've missed you" Amanda who was keeping herself calm and poised forgot for a second to hide her emotions when she heard him, he watched the emotions play out in her face and a smile grew when he saw he was not alone, he gained a bit of his usual confidence "I've missed this you, no monosyllabic one"

Amanda brought her walls up again, not really feeling like letting him in again would fix anything "I am glad you've missed me Daniel, it's nice to see you but I have to get back to work" she knew the minute she left was the last minute she'd see him, hear him, but she didn't care, as long as she could stop what she was feeling having him so close and knowing she'd never really have him again.

"Wait, don't go"

"I have to work"

"The sheer amount of jokes I could do now, Anyways, skip it once, call in sick, what do you do you can't skip?"

"I have a class to teach that can't be cancelled last minute"

"Teacher? What do you teach?"

"I have to leave now"

"Tell me while I walk you"

"How do you know I'm walking?"

"Fine, tell me in the cab, or car, or motorcycle"

"Maybe I have a bike"

"You hate bikes, let's go"

They walked for a few minutes, Daniel asking questions and Amanda answering just enough for him to be sated but never engaging in the conversation

"Um, so why London?"

"I wanted to come here, then I liked it and I stayed"

"Great city, right? it feels like home to me"

"You did grow up here"

"Yeah, um, what do you teach again?"

"I haven't said it yet, I teach martial arts"

"Oh, yes, you're like a ninja, I forgot"

"Really? You forgot?"

"No" he paused for a little while gathering up the courage to tell her what he'd been thinking since the minute she left his office that morning. "But I would like to try again anyways"

Daniel had given it a lot of thought, after she left his office he held the ring in his hands for a while, just like he'd done the summer before, he looked at it feeling the defeat once again, knowing he loved her but couldn't look past it, first a kiss then a new identity. But at least it had given him purpose, purpose to change his life, become a man of his own, get out of his parent's shadow, so he picked a plane to London after a few days trying to find a place in new York, he went back home, where his life had been a tad normal, where he had felt good, he started to do what he loved, he wrote, he spent his days going to cafes and listening to local bands, trying his luck with woman, he felt good but it doesn't seemed quite right, something was always missing and he had really tried to convince himself it wasn't Amanda but deep down he knew, since the second she walked out he wondered if he had once more left his pride get in the way of his happiness and with time the small doubt he had grown into certainty, he had screwed up, and this time it was permanent. At least until he heard a waiter yell her name in the middle of a coffee shop across the pond.

He waited quietly for her response, looking at her face from time to time to try guess what she was thinking, nothing. A few minutes passed and Amanda finally spoke "Think that through" she turned on her heels and walked in her dojo, gesturing him to follow her, Daniel could only smile when he saw the sign on the doors _Infinity times Infinity. _"Of course" was the only thing he managed to whisper back as he followed her inside to wait for her class to end.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello guys, first I'd like to thank everyone who has read, followed, liked and reviewed the story, it means a lot to this poor demily hung-up soul. I really liked what I did here because Emily making out with Jack in that promo wrecked my feelings. Also I made this author note to let you all know that I started another Demily fic called "Are you new in town?" **What are we all without shameless self promoting **and if you want you could pass over there and read and maybe review if you like or hate it, it's a High school AU because Emily **** making out with Jack in that promo wrecked my feelings. Okay read **and review****** away, and remember Emily**** making out with Jack in that promo wrecked my feelings. Love you all :)**

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Daniel spent the hour and a half her class lasted staring at her, he found some sort of comfort looking at her, listening to her, watching her teach, watching the children admire her so much; but it was a bittersweet feeling because it also meant watching her fight and that only reminded Daniel of the lies, of the second life his fiancée had successfully managed to hide from him for so long. Anyways it didn't hurt as much, not anymore, not after three months without her laugh, without her eyes, not after three months he'd spent going over and over it all; what he knew his family had done, what she told him his family had done, what she told him she had done, he had come to terms with everything, he understood why she did it. And as much as he wanted to hate her and convince himself the void he was feeling she was not the one to fill, his purpose fell apart when he saw her in that coffee shop, she wasn't looking at him but the mere name and hair filled him with such warmth that in that moment he finally accepted that he wasn't over her and he didn't want to be, that he still wanted Paris with her; and the moment their eyes met he knew she wanted it too.

Amanda let herself postpone the breakdown she was supposed to be having at the moment, she went into the dojo and gestured Daniel to follow her in order to tell him that he could get lost later, later being the operative word. She greeted the kids already sitting in the corner and she spoke to some of the parents before starting her class, the moment the children stood her mind went completely off the man sitting in the stool watching her. That was entirely the reason why she had opened the martial arts business, throwing some kicks into thin air was the only thing that kept her feelings and thoughts at bay for the past three months, and even when he was sitting right there, it was certainly helping her avoid the topic at hand. It had gotten better, waking up without him, breathing without him, had gotten easier in the last three months. She had found new friends, bought a nice place to live, created a business from scratch, all in three months, she was always at her best when she was at her worst, but still whenever her mind wandered it wandered to him, it's not like she couldn't feel herself getting better, she was healing and it was becoming nothing but a scar in her collection, but the moment she heard him in that coffee shop she didn't feel the tingle you get when you touch a scar, she felt the sharp pain an open wound sends through one's body. And she knew she could just tell him no, but that's when the confusion kicked in, she wasn't sure she wanted that, yes she'd wished for it to heal but only because she thought it was over, now he was there again she wasn't sure she wanted to try again either, why try something so obviously broken? Why give him the power to tear her life to shreds again? She had more than sufficient reasons to ignore the issue at least for an hour and a half

Daniel waited patiently, all the parents had left with their children and the two people left, a woman and a man in their twenties, who were obviously suspicious of him were still seating on the floor gathering their stuff as slow as they could, why Daniel wasn't sure

"You honestly think if you left and I wanted to steal something Amanda couldn't kick my ass?"

The woman was the one to respond "Well mate we have never seen you here, everyone's gone and here you are, any of us could kick your arse right now"

"For sitting here?"

The man stood up, successful at looking deadly "For sitting here after we're officially closed and waiting on our boss who we have never seen with you, besides the attitude"

"Are you a hooligan?"

Amanda came from the back of the studio, obviously coming out of the shower with a gym bag "Ok Daniel Zack and Sarah, Zack and Sarah Daniel, they teach here, he's an old friend"

The woman spoke again from the floor, her voice filled with sarcasm "Pleasure"

"So Amanda, are you coming to the pub with us?" Zack was still glaring at Daniel even as he spoke to her

"I have a lot to catch up on and I don't want to bring the tension to them" she eyed them both " tell everyone I couldn't make it tonight, but next time I'll keep my promises and the first round is on me" she gave him some money and a warm smile, then she looked at the woman who was now standing up by the door "make sure they get my message Sarah" and gave the guy a playful slap I the back of his head "See you tomorrow"

"I will give them the bloody message"

"I'll tell them, good night"

Daniel waited for another minute to check they were gone and saw Amanda go to a small desk, while she finished whatever she was doing he felt the need to say something to cut the tension obviously building between them "So, everyone huh?"

"What?"

"You just never were the kind of girl who had an everyone waiting on her"

"You knew me for a week" Amanda had set herself up for a good bye, she decided she would make it as easy as she could for him to run off and the sooner he left the sooner she could begin to forget again, so she put up her walls and got ready for a long night

"Yeah about that, dinner?"

"Sure"

They made their way into a small diner close to the dojo, the waitress lit up when she saw Amanda come in "Amanda, why are you here? I thought tonight was pub night, I'm on the verge of tears" she paused for a minute when she saw Daniel, giving him a once over she smiled "I see why you would ditch the lot of them now". He smiled shyly at her before sitting in a near table giving them space, which wasn't really working as a privacy measure; he could hear everything they said "I like him, dashing"

Amanda gave her a smile "I know but it's not like that, he's my ex"

"Which one? The ex?"

"yes that one"

"Should I spit in his food?"

"We've been through this, I was awful to him. If anything give him extra fries, he loves fries. The usual for me and a burger with fries and coke for him"

"Ok, go sit then, I'll send someone else"

Amanda sat across Daniel in the table and gave him a smile that didn't seem quite right, he noticed he couldn't stomach that anymore "Ok, I'll need you to step out of Emily Thorne for the night, I like the way Amanda smiles better"

She sighed but then conceded still fully prepared for the worst "did you think it through?"

"I did and, I want in on this"

"On what?"

"This thing you have going on here where you know your waiters and you have plans with your work mates and everyone is at the pub waiting for you, I want in on this happiness, I want in on your life"

"You honestly thought that through? What about the-" the waiter interrupted them wth their food, they both muttered thanks and waited until he left again "what about the lying? And killing? And kidnapping?"

"What? I've only met you for a week"

"Very funny, say you got over it, say you don't care, what are you telling your parents? Oh I'm dating this girl here across the world; no you can't ever meet her"

"Trust me, you don't want to meet my parents"

"Oh then everything's fixed, let's get married and have twenty kids they won't ever meet their grandparents but who cares? We're over it"

"I was thinking three, tops"

"Daniel, please"

"Look, these three months, they have been the most miserable time of my existence, and you saw the two years before them. I quit, I'm living in London, I'm writing for a living, I have this cozy sweater and yet I'm unhappy, I have everything I ever wanted but after I met you all I wanted, really wanted, was you Amanda, I was happier in the job I didn't ask for with the people I hated in the midst of a crisis because I had you, even if it was an illusion it was the best illusion of my life and then you wanted to make it real and I let you go, and I have died every day for three months and I'm not going to do that anymore"

Amanda could see the honesty in his eyes and feel his words weigh on her but still she knew it was an almost impossible thing to make it work "Daniel, I'm dying too but I'm not dying as much as I was in the Hamptons, not anymore" she knew it had been an incredibly stupid thing to say but words weren't really coming out easy in the moment

"Are you saying you're over me?"

"God knows I'm far, but it's getting better" her tone had gone softer after her resolve to make him see his stupidity was replaced with doubt again "some nights these weeks I can even sleep a few hours. I can't get back to the first days"

He smiled brightly at her, watching her admit weakness like that was a first; she had admitted a lot before: anger, defeat, lust, love, but fear never. "You won't, we love each other and we're far away from all that now"

"We loved each other that day, and see where that got us"

"I was hurt, you hurt me, I just needed time to see why"

"I'm not sorry"

Daniel let out a sigh; he wasn't expecting her to be, not really. "I figured, but I sort of get it now, The Graysons, they destroyed your life and got away with it, you needed justice to be brought to them because no one was taking them to it, but you went a bit too far because you feel deeply, you don't half-do anything, you're passionate, which I love about you, and you are not sorry nor will be because for what they did they haven't even began to pay for. But this Grayson right here, he's not going to hurt you so he's not an endangered species, he now sees you for everything you are instead of just the part you decide to show, and he still loves you, all of you, crazy ninja and sweet girl who blushes"

"God You're good with words"

"I was expecting you to cry after that one" he joked

"I don't think I have tears anymore" she joked back, with a ton more honesty than him

"You won't ever have to cry anymore anyways"

"I screwed up, why are you apologizing?"

"Because I let you go, you tried and I took that ring and watch you walk out of the office without a word, I should have tried back then, now it might be too late"

"It's not"

"Really because Mathis, he was all in. And everyone was waiting at the pub"

"Trust me, he tried. I have a key to his place that he thinks it's going to become our place any day now. And everyone it's just friends, I haven't had a date since that day at Central Park"

"The key, were you planning to use it?"

"No, we made a promise to see each other there when it was all over but that was long ago, everything changed"

"And is it over?"

"Yes, you are not an endangered species unless you want to rob me"

"So is that a yes?"

"Yes what?"

"Yes Daniel gets in on the happiness"

"It's a yes"

"Good because my burger is reverting back to its frozen being"

Emily laughed before digging in in her own food thinking maybe she was making a mistake but it was the best mistake she had done in her life. She felt the small doubt still sitting in the back of her head, she felt the obvious issues circle her thoughts making her worry about the near future, she felt the urge to run before she could get any more hurt, she felt the urge to run before she could hurt him further, she felt the pain as she remember what had transpired between them last time they'd seen each other, but she looked past all of it to the man sitting in front of her with ketchup in his cheek and she felt a sheer joy that she had never felt before, she felt that her life was more than vengeance, she felt like she might get a normal life, so she ignored the obvious and shared a meal with the son of the people who had ruined her life, and she was unfathomably happy about it.


	15. Chapter 15

"ok, so you go first because mine is longer" she smiled at him, thinking of the Grayson expressions she'd missed the god-awful afternoon she'd given up "You just walked in there, and quit?"

"I was angry because I knew everything you'd said was true, and you were the wicked witch so I had to prove you wrong. Right after you left I went home and lucky me all three of them were there, I gather them and go: Emily's gone and I'm getting a place of my own" he was smiling back at her

"Victoria must have stood up and dance a little at least"

He laughed "She was all: my boy grew up. Anyways, Charlotte and my dad were at least acting upset about it and I don't give them time to ask and go: also I'm quitting bye. My dad goes nuts, Charlotte merely says she's going to med school and they can't count on her to run anything either, and my mom is merely grinning wider at my dad's despair"

"That bitch"

Daniel apparently didn't care what Amanda thought of his mother, he merely took a sip of his coke and asked "what did you do that day?"

"I got home, sat with my phone for half an hour to text you, didn't text you, went ton Nolan's, had a talk with Aiden and Nolan about how I had successfully bullied you into silence, told Aiden I wasn't going to Spain with him, saw Aiden storm out, had pizza. And next morning I was In a plane"

"Here" He stated more than asked

"No, Japan, to tell Takeda"

"Takeda was in it too?"

"Oh yes" She kicked herself internally for telling him that, even in the full disclosure policy Takeda could have been spared

"Shut up"

"Please, don't tell anyone" her voice had lowered an octave in a plead that sounded more like a threat to Daniel

He, who really wasn't planning on telling, thought maybe he's lighten the mood again "Or I'm dead right?" he joked

Amanda felt him trying to make it right but she just couldn't let it pass, if they were going to try again she needed to know he was absolutely ready for it "Daniel what I said that day stands, you touch a hair out of Nolan's head and I swear to god everything you love turns to ash" She was looking at him dead in the eye to be sure he was understanding the situation

He swallowed the bite he had taken "I know", he was serious too, he put his hand on top of hers on the table and stroked it with his thumb "I won't"

Her eyes went from his eyes to his hand on top of her and she softened, suddenly guilty about ruining the mood like that "I just- consider it an insurance policy, and you're covered by it too, effective immediately"

"Oh so if I get kidnapped, whoever does it pays?"

"I will make them regret it"

"Super-duper"

"You think I'm joking?"

"No, I know you're not. I have the hottest avenger at my service"

They finished their food and talked for hours, three months that looked uneventful for them actually made a lot of conversation material, they talked about their lives, hey talked about jobs, friendships, lofts, accidents, everything that had passed on the time that they missed of each other and they still had a lot to say, but they were interrupted

"Amanda you do know we close at 10". The waitress that had greeted them earlier was already wearing a black coat over her uniform and was carrying a backpack

"Oh god Kate sorry, we got carried away, thanks for letting us stay" she looked around to see nothing but empty tables "after everyone else is gone apparently" They stood up and followed the girl to the door as she talked

"And her I thought you were waiting for me to go to the pub"

"Oh not tonight, I'm awfully tired, I'm going to bed"

The waitress was shocked "You're going to bed?! It's barely 10.30 at nigh—", she looked over to Daniel who was standing behind Amanda with his hands in his pockets "Oh, ooh you're going to bed, okay" she gave her a knowing smile with a wink.

She smiled back and let out a small laugh "You're awful, I'm actually just going to get some sleep"

"Okay, okay, I'll pass by your flat tomorrow morning really early so you can tell me all about your rest of tonight" she winked at him this time "goodnight people"

"Bye Kate, and don't tell everyone"

She tilted her had to a side and narrowed her eyes for a few seconds "Nah, make sure you turn off your phone"

Amanda let some air puff her cheeks and then let it out "of course"

As the woman walked away they too began to walk, taking the opposite way in comfortable silence, feeling like they belonged, even then, when they got to a certain corner Daniel stopped, Amanda was already halfway into crossing the deserted street when she realized, being so into her thoughts she barely felt him leave her side, she turned "What?"

"I have to turn here to get home, I'll umm see you tomorrow, I'll come by the academy, or whatever" He smiled at her shyly

She was moving towards him "You're shitting me"

"What?" he was rooted to the spot

She laughed and walked walk to step behind his still figure and with her hands in the small of his back began pushing him forward "C'mon, it's early and it's not like you have to wake up at sunrise tomorrow, let me show you my place" he was not moving so she slid her arms around him and intertwined her fingers over his front to bodily push him as he playfully resisted

"I've only known you for a week lady" he was still fighting her, even if she had made some progress

"Mind of the gutter, I just absolutely need to show you my silverware"

His straight face broke into a smile and he lifted his arm and turned a bit to put it over her shoulder and pull her in to kiss the top of her head "Oh my, silverware, count me in" he let himself revel a bit more in the scent of her hair, a scent he'd missed terribly.

She could sense and maybe hear the smile in his face as she rested her forehead in his shoulder "I've missed you Daniel"

"I've missed you more"

The ten minutes that took to get to Amanda's building, those were the best ten minutes of their last three months. When she left his side to find her keys and open the door, he felt as if he had stepped out to the coldest winter of them all, it had been less than a minute and he could tell that was a feeling he never wanted to live without, he followed her up a flight of stairs and saw her stop again in the second floor lobby fumbling for another key, he watched her open the door and come inside as he followed and he saw her disappear into the corridor leaving him standing there. The apartment was warm and welcoming despite the minimalistic black furniture that she had as only form of décor, in the living room there was an incredibly modern TV set and in the center table an, also black, laptop was opened next to some headphones and an empty beer bottle, whose sisters were neatly aligned on a far wall; it was the absolute opposite of her house in the Hamptons and he loved it.

A minute later she got out to find him still standing in the doorstep, she smiled "obviously you're allowed to step out of the mat, take off your coat, take a sit, anything you want actually" she walked past him again and disappeared in the opposite corridor, he took her advice as he heard her voice coming from the depths of the house "beer or wine or juice or water or tea or what?"

He sat on the couch which for his surprise was incredibly comfortable "Wine please"

"God you're so rich"

He waited for a few seconds before she came out with a bottle and two glasses, he recognized it immediately "Million-dollar wine? You haven't drunk that?"

"For a million-dollar occasion" she smiled at him as she sat and handed him one of the glasses, she poured it and held hers up slightly for him to do the same "like this reunion" she smiled wider. They each took a sip of it only to spit it back out

"You made me pay a million dollars for that shit!" he was frowning in distaste

"I didn't made you, you were trying to impress me, all by yourself mister" her face mirrored his

"Impress you? We were already getting married, I did it for the children"

"The children? Oh my god Daniel" she began to laugh at the absurdity of the situation being quickly followed by him "Fuck, a million dollars and it tastes worse than Budweiser" they kept laughing and even when it died, their smiled were not fading.

"You have anything to get it off my tongue?"

Amanda thought about it for a second before closing the space the space between them and kissing him passionately, he parted his lips to let her tongue come in and it wasn't until they needed air she pulled back, it had been months and feeling their lips and tongues against one another let them flustered

"Not that I'm complaining but you taste like the wine" his voice was raw and his breathing was shallow, he laughed a bit

"You're awful at this", Amanda had found the little confidence she was lacking in his reaction and began moving to him on the couch with a predatory glint in her eyes until her body was hovering his, she watched him swallow and wanted nothing more than to put her lips in his pulse point. He was trying to keep the upper hand "me? You're the one who lured me here under false silverware-related pretenses", he was failing horribly; he watched a smirk form in Amanda's lips, she straddled him and left a trail of kisses from his collarbone to his jaw before purring "are you going to fight me on that?" against his skin, she felt his breath hitch, she kept kissing his jawline up to his earlobe, she nipped at it while she pulled the hem of his sweater, she left the lobe go to whisper "off" in a tone that sent a shiver down his spine, he obliged and put his arms up so she could yank it out of him taking the shirt underneath it, he lost no time doing the same, her hands fell to his chest and his fell to her back, he kissed her and as they explored each other's mouth she caressed his abs as her hand moved down to undo the belt, as she pulled it off from him she whispered against his lips "bed" and stood up releasing his lips, he followed and kissing he bare shoulder walked behind her letting her guide, that was until he saw the door and positioned himself to open it pinning her against the wall his mouth never leaving her skin, one hand feeling the wood to find the handle the other unclasping the black bra, she moaned "wrong… door. That's… that's my bathroom, I'll show you that one later" her breath was hitching too but she was not relinquishing the control, she turned and pushed him until his back touched the wall and then snaked her hand around him to open the door, he looked back to see where he was getting into and before he could turn back his back hit the mattress and Amanda had straddled him again with a grin on her face, she pulled her hair out of her face and lowered herself to kiss his neck and make her way down, collarbone, chest, abs hip bone, damn pants. "Emily was a bottom" "Emily was a good girl" "Oh, and you're not?" "You've only met me for a week haven't you?" she undid his pants and pulled them off in a swift motion, as he saw her getting out of her own he could feel himself getting hard, he hated to kill the mood but he had to ask "condoms?" she crawled back on bed, on top of him and got her hair out of her face again "birth control, and not a date in three months" she leaned down to kiss him again and as she played with his bottom lip he managed a "me too" "Hmm you're on the pill?" "You know what I meant" she let out a breathy laugh between kisses and he pulled himself to a more sitting position, he put his finger on her chin to make her look at him "I'm not lying" "me neither so shut up" she wrapped her legs around his waist and feeling her through the damp fabric in his abdomen was all he needed to finally take control of the situation, he shifted their weight and hovered her body for a moment getting out of his boxers, he lowered his head to her thighs and he kissed them as he slid the matching black underwear and he felt her hip buckle up in anticipation, he grinned against her skin and let his hand venture up to feel a hardened nipple under his palm, she let out a whimper and he replaced his lips in her inner thigh for his hand as he looked up only to smirk wider at her, seeing her so flushed only made him harder. He looked her in the eyes as if asking for permission and it wasn't until she purred "yes please" he lowered himself on her, he left a trail of open mouthed kissed down her neck and stopped to suck at the base of it as he joined them together, he soothed the reddened skin with his tongue and moved to her mouth as he began to thrust, he'd never heard her like that "did I suck before or am I doing great tonight?" he smiled at her as the moved at a regular pace, she didn't even bothered to open her yes and threw her had back "oh shut up" "as you wish" "faster", he increased the speed and kissed her neck, he felt her walls tighten around him, she moaned and let out a breathy "Daniel" "Amanda", he loved saying it, _it suits her better_, he felt her legs wrap around him, pulling him closer. Watching her, listening to her was making it harder for him to wait, he could feel it coming and when he heard her basically scream his name as her body tensed and relaxed under his brought him over the edge too, he kissed her softly as he moved to his side and hugged her, he passed his fingers through blonde curls until her eyes fluttered open, "I've missed you" her voice was soft "me or my penis?" "Both" she smiled at him before kissing him again, she continued "You wanna see my shower now?", he did his best impression "yes please" despite her efforts she started to laugh as she pushed him out of bed "shut upl" "okay, okay". There are no words for how happy Daniel Grayson was.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this took a while. Should I change this to M rated, it wasn't that M rated right? RIGHT? *crazy eyes***

**Love ya.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Sory this took a long time to come, I was having the busiest week and then I was having a unispired couple of days but I think there's some mojo back. Enjoy peeps :)**

* * *

Daniel wasn't fully awake when his body lost the warmth next to itself, instinctively it arched to where its source had been minutes ago, his hands looking for her body and his head moving to the pillow where her scent remained, that's how he woke up, missing her. His eyes fluttered open and he took in the unfamiliar room he was in, his mind immediately recalled the events of the past night and a smile formed in his still drowsy face, he passed his hands through his hair and sat still for a moment wondering where she could have gone but apprehensive of going through her house to look for her, it was as if he had summoned her with his thoughts because she slowly opened the door and peeked inside, her hair in a tidy ponytail and a smile matching his in her lips, she saw him awake and walked in, obviously showered and fully clothed already, and with a tray full of croissants, scrambled eggs, coffee cups, orange juice glasses, bacon and fruit. She walked up and put it in the night table before kissing him soundly

"Good Morning" she smiled at him again

"Great morning" He looked to her and the tray and smiled back "Is this your version of the walk of shame?" he tugged at her shirt as she slid in the bed to sit next to him

"This is my version of have-to-work person, I believe I'm doing a great" she grabbed the tray and slipped it on her legs before grabbing the remote next to it and turning on the TV in the far wall in front of the bed

He made a low growling noise "You're not staying? Because you own the thing and in my experience if you own it you make your own hours" he grabbed a croissant a took a bite smiling

"You've had a pleasant experience" she mirrored him as she looked for the international news

"Okay" he pouted "but at least look at me before you go"

She left CNN on and kissed him again "I though cliché breakfast in bed would reduce the neediness"

He made a gasping noise "me needy? You wound me" to his dismay he couldn't help the smile in his face

She smiled back "Look at the pretty news, watch the pretty news as you eat" she grabbed the fork and took some scrambled eggs into her mouth, his smile widen and he kissed the top of her head

"Yes ma'am"

They enjoyed their breakfast together happily, it was calm and Daniel would ask simple questions of her morning routines and her job schedule while she answered and asked back how did he spent his time, they were content in each other's arms and Amanda was hoping she could just call in sick and make the other two teach both their classes and hers, but she just wasn't that person, Daniel's train of thought was on the same line and he was trying to find a way to propose it to her without making her upset, he was considering maybe she could feel like he didn't respect her time or anything of the like and it was too good to spoil right now, his panic shot up to the skies when she felt her body tense against his, he scanned everything he'd said over the morning, _oh great she reads minds, _he took a quick glance to her face to evaluate the damage as he drew circles on the small of her back with his thumb, _at least she isn't recoiling_, he saw her face fixated on the TV screen and his eyes followed hers, then it dawned on him, the election was the day before.

"Conrad Grayson New Governor of New York" read in bright red letters in the bottom of the screen as some footage of him in a podium waving while Victoria and Charlotte smiled in the back moved before their eyes, he tensed too, but she was too focused on the reporting to notice. "_Being former CEO to his family's company Grayson Global, he obviously has a lot of experience in management and money but is he able to juggle everything there is to juggle in this position he gladly volunteered for?"_ they were not moving a muscle "_I don't know Matt, I'm not amazed he won, people know him and hold him in a high regard, knowing everything he did after one of his employees partook in the downing of that flight and seeing him in the action yesterday, he obviously had the vote but how ready he could be is something the public tends to overlook these days_"

Amanda's face visibly changed at the mention of her father, that is when Daniel reacted too and pulled her in closer "what action yesterday?"

"Someone bombed the Grayson Global offices"

"Oh god"

"Nothing happened, they had conveniently sent 99% of the staff home to vote" she made air quote marks as she said the last word "He was the first in the ground helping with the aftermath, since he was walking to his office when it happened" she repeated the gesture "He, his wife and his children thank their lucky stars" Once again. She had not moved her eyes from the screen and her expression had changed from slightly annoyed to completely blank as they recalled every bit of goodwill the newly appointed governor had ever performed for his crowd

Daniel couldn't help to notice how calm she looked and he felt the pit of his stomach ache as he realized how she could still completely shut him off at will, that calm he now knew was only keeping the inner storm hidden, and it could be quite the storm. He swallowed hard as if scared of asking "You think…?"

"I don't think, I know" she turned for the first time to look at him dead in the eye, her face softened a bit, turning from stoic peace to a small but genuine smile, "But that ship has sailed"

He released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, now truly thanking his lucky stars she wasn't going to get on a flight to resume her prior plans. He smiled and pulled her in for a hug "Thank you for… for trying for us"

"Anything for us" She pulled back and smiled before kissing him, it was brief and soft "I have to go now, don't be scared of overstaying your welcome. I'm off at three today so there's a key in the vase next to the door if you want to take it and you know where I work if you feel needy"

Daniel watched her move away from the bed with the tray full of empty chinaware in her hands, he had a small doubt in his mind second guessing the timing to tell her, it wasn't until she reached the door he talked again "Amanda I- I love you" he let it out there just in case she was wondering and he wanted to get under the sheets the second it took for her to answer back

She turned and smiled brightly "I love you too Daniel" and with that she left.

* * *

Daniel stayed in bed until they were done talking about his father, he was positively disgusted for how good he seemed to everyone, knowing all the dirt behind it made him understand Amanda's loathe for what the Grayson name represented. He left her apartment, taking the key of course, and went to his, not without stopping to make her a copy of his, to take a shower and a change clothes. He was so comfortable with her, it was ridiculous to trust so blindly someone who had done so much to harm in his past but he did and he was happy he could because he did not wish to lose what he had just regained. He could only think of her as he went through his fridge to find something to eat, he missed her, he just didn't want to have any meal without her ever again, so he closed it and was already taking the key to his car when the phone rung, he took a deep breath and walked up to it, whatever girl it could be, she was going to be disappointed. He picked up the phone and felt silently to the couch as the familiar voice greeted him

"Hello Son"

"Dad? What- How did you get this number?"

"How do I get anything?"

"Okay, Who did you kill to get this number?"

"Daniel I was hoping we were past this"

"Did you put a bomb in the offices to look good"

"No one was harmed"

"Oh my god, you did"

"Daniel it was a piece of concrete"

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND? How many people was walking down there? How many people could have been killed just for you to win?"

"They didn't"

"THEY COULD HAVE"

"Daniel I was just calling to ask you something, I would like you to be in the inaugural ball, immediate family should be there"

"Hell no."

"I do hope you'll think about it Son, good bye"

_Did he just hung up on me_, Daniel's mind was set, he was not going to go back there and play nice, hell he was not going to help his image. That was at least until he got to Amanda, well, Amanda got to him.

* * *

Kate had gotten to the dojo a little early, she was going to push until Amanda told her everything that had happened after she left her with her ex, the same ex whose family she'd apparently tried to destroy from the inside because they had killed her dad and failed when she fell for him and confessed making him hate her, her friend's life was like a soap opera and Kate, being Kate, loved it. She got in and walked straight to the small office she had where she was sitting behind her desk asking for pizza on the phone, she held up the small takeout bag and Amanda cancelled her order and hung up. "So, tell me about your rendezvous of last night"

She smiled "What rendezvous?" and began to walk outside motioning to follow her

"Tall, slightly dark and handsome, killer family" she sat on the floor and began opening the bags

Amanda laughed at the description "I think it's safe to say we're back together" she pulled out the salad she could only guess was hers

"I want the gory details"

"You know I don't give gory details"

"That's because you never had any bloody details at all, your psychotic ass was hung up on him for as long as I've known you"

She laughed "Then I guess you're learning something new about me Kate, no gory details"

Kate grimaced as she pulled out the rest of the food, she stopped when she saw a black Ferrari stop in front of the dojo "Bloody hell, who's that? I think I've found my soulmate"

Amanda looked up and laughed at her friend's ridiculousness "I have no idea but I want in in the family vacations"

The door opened and Daniel got out looking extremely expensive, Amanda laughed and her friend smiled "You weren't lying, he's rich. I am giving you my blessing, you two should start a bank"

He walked in and missed the women sitting on the floor at the far wall "Amanda? I'm taking you to lunch and you can't say no"

Kate cleared her throat making him take out his sunglasses and look at them "too late, should have brought your rocket instead"

"He smiled at them "Oh, Kate right? I'm Daniel" he kissed Amanda and sat next to her

Amanda smiled "A Ferrari? Subtlety has gone off the window"

"What? It's a nice car, what do you drive? The Lexus?"

She shook her head still smiling "I don't have a car, it's London, I walk and carpool everywhere, I do have a bike"

"Oh, you're getting a Ferrari for your birthday then"

Kate was just laughing at the absurdity of that conversation and talking whenever she could catch breath "So, you don't work and you give away Ferraris, you're going to be broke soon Mister"

Amanda looked at her laughing too "He's not"

"Tell me he has a brother"

"A sister"

"I'm open minded, I need a number"

He was smiling at them "You're not going to marry my sister"

After a few minutes Kate looked at her clock and muttered and "Oh shit I'm late", she kissed Amanda's cheek and stood up "Bye I have to go back to school, eat up, it feels good to give my food to goodwill, shit, my helmet?"

"You should take my car" he threw her the keys and she caught them "Goodwill"

"I bloody should" and with that she left

Daniel smiled at her and then remembered what he wanted to talk about in the first place "So my dad just called, he wants me to go back for his inaugural ball"

"You should"

"What?"

"You should go to your father's inaugural ball"

"What?"


	17. Chapter 17

They were intently looking at each other, Daniel trying to find something, a clue, on her face as to why she would say such thing, and Amanda waiting for him to react. After a few minutes that dragged on he finally broke the silence having found nothing in her expression

"What? Why would I go back to New York for an inaugural ball he didn't even won fairly Amanda?"

"Image is everything for a politician"

"Yeah so? I don't care about his image"

"Yes but he does Daniel" She sighed seeing he still was oblivious to most of the situations before him. She continued in a softer tone "Even if you don't go we both know he's capable of sending someone to, umm, convince you somehow, and I really don't think you left a number when you came here so he already tracked you down, hopefully he just has the address and the phone number. So go while you're winning"

"Winning? What does that means? And anyways what about us?"

"That's why you're winning; I think I would have come up in the conversation if he knew. Assuming he doesn't know, if you say no, in his attempts to get you he'll stumble into me, or say he gives up, the media won't stop digging about why the son who used to be the right hand of the governor was m.i.a in the inaugural ball, they'll find you, and they'll find me, and I'm Emily Thorne for them and I do not want to go back to that"

"ok but I can't just disappear after that again, they'll know where I am and you already have your life here pretty neat so what? We just carry on until they find out about you? And then what?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we have to" there was a long silence because unlike Daniel, she had given that matter a lot of thought and it seemed like a dead-end. She could confess and face the wrath of the Graysons but have an open relationship with Daniel, she could tell Daniel it wasn't going to work and move on but keep her new built life intact, or she could just keep being Emily Thorne to them and built a bigger lie for both Daniel and her. None of the options were remotely good, she wanted her friends, and her dojo, and Daniel, and her real name, and no Grayson drama, all wrapped with a nice bow, and even if she knew it wasn't possible she was angry at whatever cosmic force that made its purpose to not let her enjoy her lie for over one day at least. Daniel's voice took her out of her mind

"Hey… hey! What? What are you thinking?"

She sighed and brought her eyes up from the floor "Have you ever thought of what would even happen if we got back together?"

"Yeah, what happened last night" he smiled at her

"No, not that" she replied rather coldly and regretted it afterwards

"Oh, umm no I guess not really" his eyes have found the spot on the floor she had been examining earlier

"I confessed, back then, but as much as I hoped you'd understand I didn't really plan anything" she was looking at him, trying to make him look at her by sheer mental summoning

"What would you need to plan?"

"Daniel you can't be that blind" She was speaking softly now "How are expecting this thing between us to work"

"I love you and you love me, that's how it works"

"Fair enough, not between us but with the rest of the world"

He finally looked up to meet her gaze "What?"

"I do not want to go back to Emily Thorne but we can't explain to your family who I am, and we can't just shut them out of your life because as fucked up as they are they're your family, and what if this things goes on and we want to get married, you have no idea the amount of paperwork I got Nolan to alter for Amanda and me after I left, and even then, what if we have kids you're just gonna deny them of grandparents?-"

Daniel wanted to say something that would soothe her, he voice was so soft it could be compared to a whisper, he had to lean forward to hear her pour everything out "We can do that, we can just shut them out" he tried, as he took her hands in his and pulled her a bit closer to look him in the eye "Charlotte can talk to me on the phone or text me I don't care as long as I have you"

"No Daniel, as awful as your parents are it's just ridiculous to think of cutting them out of so much, even if you truly wanted to they have proven they can find you anywhere and running away from them it's not worth living a lie like I did, and god forbids you cut them off and someone dares recognize you in the street buying baby clothes, then we just what? Run? I can't live like that"

Daniel faltered, he had no idea it'd be so hard "Amanda I- I think the easy route is to tell them who you are, hell that's not easy actually, but I will take the hardest route if you need me to"

"It does sound like the lesser of evils, if one of the parties involved had the ability of forgiveness. Do you really think they won't say they're fine with it to our face and then cut the brakes of my car? They will go nuts and they will not try to put me in jail but something much worse, something like what I did to them and they will believe it is justified just like I do and then I'll realize what they are doing to destroy my new life or family or whatever and the cycle will start again"

"So? Let's change our names and go to Mexico"

"Daniel no"

"It's just a name"

"Does it look like it's just a name? Jesus Christ I made up a whole new life and even then Victoria stumbled into it and Frank died when she did, this is not a witness protection situation, your parents are wealthy and powerful you can't just disappear, they can track your money, they can track you back to this place right now, they can track your car to Kate's university too, they can burn the world to find you. And I won't let them do that, I have created a nice world and I will not watched destroyed from afar, hoping I could interfere"

"You don't want to leave here"

"I don't. I have a job, I have met amazing people with who I've been honest to build nice relationships and my apartment has a great sound system. I don't want to leave here."

"Ok then, you're going with me and you're gonna confess and you're gonna threaten them so badly they'll wish I was never born to bring you back"

"What?"

"I'm giving you permission for one last straw of crazy"

"You said you didn't want to live knowing I could just do those things or maybe one day fall again and now you're pushing me?"

"Yes, I am"

Amanda stood up from the floor leaving him in a daze, she started pacing across the room as if weighing her options for a few minutes, head down and hands intertwined the back of her neck. He started picking up everything from the floor as he saw some people walk in the dojo, apparently lunch time was over, not that it was stopping her to walk the equivalent of a marathon inside. She finally looked up to see the parents and their children going in, she bit her lip, apparently the pacing had not help much, she walked over to where Daniel was standing and looked him dead in the eye "I have to teach this class now" he nodded, she bit her lip again "are you sure you're comfortable with me telling your parents everything I've done and then threatening them again?" he nodded again and swallowed hard thinking it more

"Well you can always just talk to them, no threats"

"No I can't"

"Then, um, okay. Anything to make us work"

"Okay" she smiled the smallest smile he'd ever seen from her, obviously not completely convinced on the decision "We'll talk when I finish, I'll call you" she gave his lips a peck and turned, not leaving any space for him to respond.

* * *

The day had gone by and she hadn't even noticed, she'd disconnected herself from everything and everyone and worked in autopilot as her mind avoided the issue at hand, he had asked her to go back and not only to go back but to do it again, scheme and threaten them into silence, for their relationship, for _them_. At least there was a them to fight for, that was what kept her head above the water, she had gotten a second, well third, chance and she was not going to let a minor Grayson problem damage that, _yeah minor_. She wasn't considering it, she knew she was going to do it, she just wanted to postpone it as much as possible because the three months without planning or plotting were like an AA chip for her; it had been hard, coming from the life she'd had, to start trusting people and believing their intentions were transparent, being honest was her way of making amends and she had done a version of the 12 steps and was currently carrying a pretty normal life, falling back into the black hole lies and blackmail were was not exactly as exciting as people might believe. She was drinking a beer and looking out to the city, hundreds of light flickering In the distance, lights she'd learned to call home and now hoped she could see again.

The lock made a clicking sound and she didn't even turned back, she had made such a 180 some of her friends actually had keys to her house and she had to theirs, as she heard whoever it was fumble outside she thought of them and what could happen if they just decided they would throw her in federal prison, would they look for her? Would they finally believe there was some truth to what she had told them? The door finally opened softly and a low whisper from outside came in, she heard footsteps approach her and she put her bottle in the center table turning to look at the visitor, a small sigh left her as she saw Daniel with a suitcase next to him

"Already?"

"The ball is in three days, I was thinking we could leave tomorrow morning" he smiled kindly at her

Her eyes switched back to the bottle of beer "Three days? God"

He left his suitcase and sat next to her "so?"

"I have to fix things around here, you know work and people and someone to pick up the mail, and well other things Daniel"

He smiled again and put a hand in her leg softly "That doesn't matter, you'll have that done in hours, we can leave after noon"

"Yeah, but I…. um I haven't really thought what I'm going to say and it would be best if I talk to them after the ball, it'd buy me three days to work it up, whatever it is it has to be rather… convincing" she took a sip of the beer

"You're making me go over there alone?" he sounded utterly surprised at her

"Honestly? I'm about to jump to the wolves for you. I just don't see the point of me walking by anywhere near those stupid photographers that chase your family around and already know my face. I'd rather stay here until I have it figured out and show up there exactly when it's going down" she snapped at him as she slammed the beer bottle in the table again

Daniel released a sigh and looked at her with understanding in his eyes, he could see she was dreading the whole situation "Okay, let's just have dinner then" he smiled at her "I can cook now, kinda, sort of" he smiled wider "I can try at least"

She softened and smiled back "I'd love that"


	18. Chapter 18

Daniel dropped his bag as soon as he stepped in the manor, his eyes scanned around the foyer and the staircase as his hand involuntarily found its way back to the door, looking for an escape of an overwhelming past he was trying to get over. "Dad" his voice was steady, masking the turmoil going on in his head "I'm here"

"So I heard". An always stoic Conrad Grayson came down the stairs and enveloped him in a tight hug neither seemed to want, when he finally broke it he plastered a smile "by security I mean, don't think that I had you followed or anything of the like"

Daniel smiled back, his mind was set on playing it as cool as possible "Yeah, where's Charlotte?"

"Not home, the beach probably I promised her I wouldn't pry". They walked into the studio and sat down, facing each other with the desk between them and a thousand different walls separating them "You see, we had to reinforce our security but as long as she's safe I do not receive her exact position or company information from the 3 men following her, that's the best I could get her to agree on"

"Oh right, she's princess of the kingdom now" he stood to pour a drink of the strongest scotch he could find, if he was enduring that weekend he was doing it with as much help as he could

"I'd like one of those, I believe in your analogy you'd be prince, how do you feel about that"

"Think of me like the prince that wants to ride his horse far away from the land his father reigns over" he slid a glass on the desk and sat back taking a sip of his "Where's your queen?"

"Your mother is upstairs; she wanted to give us time to talk"

Daniel was keeping his tone indifferent and letting his mind wander off "About what?"

"You should be here, with your family"

Reality slammed him, one can't wander off when dealing with Conrad Grayson, he frowned "I'm here"

"For more than the weekend I mean, you should stay"

"No" he took a sip of his drink to let him know there was no more of that response

"Fair enough. You should go talk to your mother then. As you know the ball's tomorrow night so it'd be great if you could be here at 6pm, so we can arrive together, there will be press and I will be forever grateful if you behave yourself and make me look good, you are allowed to bring a guest and the tuxedo's already in the pool house"

He had already prepared to have a long discussion over why he wasn't staying and was surprised when his father didn't press on the matter "I'll be fine, good night dad"

* * *

Amanda stepped out of the airport and felt the cold wind blow on her face, there she was again, she thought she was done with all of that, but there she stood, back in New York with a plan to destroy the Graysons once again, all because one of them,. She watched a car drive up to her and stop and smiled at the tinted windows and saw one go down and a blonde haired head peek out "Miss Clarke, pleasure to see you after all this time"

She smiled wider and walked up to the car "Move Nolan", he did as commanded and she opened the door and sat next to him, she smiled at him again before hugging him tightly "God I've missed you" she pulled back and smiled again.

"Well you're smiley"

"I'm just happy to see you again, you're bigger"

"Protein shakes work, can you believe that?"

They kept having the light conversation for over an hour, the car drove them to his house and they had lunch just sharing everything that had happened in the last three months, even without Emily there had been a lot of buzz worthy events in the Hamptons and Amanda obviously had more to share, they talked until they both got tired of doing so and then they just went to the beach and sat down, looking at the waves come back and forth, they did that for what seemed for an eternity too until he broke the silence

"Why are you back?" he asked "I know I'm great but you obviously didn't wanted to come for the last months, and I begged enough"

"Tomorrow's the inaugural ball"

"What about Danny? I know he's somewhere across the pond but if he finds out you're messing with his precious family again he might just grow a pair" Nolan asked her to test the waters and got nothing from her expression

"He asked me to come"

"I'm going to ignore the fact that apparently he just asks and you obey to address the elephant in the beach, he asked you to come mess with his family in the inaugural ball?"

"No, he asked me to come negotiate with his family after the inaugural ball"

"Negotiate? What?" Her expression still told him nothing

"We ran into each other less than a week ago and we decided to try again, and it's working great, but Conrad somehow got wind of his phone number and asked him to come, we knew that if he has that he might as well have him followed and it was a matter of time before he found out about me, issue is I'm Amanda so here I am to confess and get a nice deal"

He was processing the story and turned to focus on some kids running in the beach "And that's what you missed on glee"

"What?"

"You know, glee, the singing hormonal teenagers show"

"Nolan my first approach is clean and peaceful, but what are the shots that's going to work?" she chuckled a bit to herself like trying to make light of the worst situation known to mankind "And I'd like you to stop me, well to tell me if you don't want me to go through with it because they will put 1 and 1 together and tie you to me"

He sighed "You honestly believe I would destroy the happy ending like that"

"Have you met me? I will find a way to make their eyes stay away from us, if you need me to stop I will"

"I need you to stop and go live in Russia, you can even name your first son Vladimir, I know you want that"

"Nolan I'm serious"

"Me too, whatever you get me into tomorrow, I'm all in for your cause" he smiled at her "Just be sure I make flower boy at the wedding, that's my real goal in life"

She smiled at him too "Ok, what about Jack and Carl?"

* * *

It was a fairly uneventful night, as uneventful as a Governor's inaugural ball full of press and diplomatic acquaintances could be, Daniel did as told and behaved, answered the questions politely, smiled for the photos, drank moderately and kept it in his pants, and when it was finally acceptable to go he did, tired. He could not believe how much he'd learned to endure all of it the last time he was in New York and how fast that ability faded. He told his driver to take him home and the whole drive he could only think of how he wasn't sure of what would happen next, he never talked to Amanda about what she was going to say, hell, he wasn't even sure she'd show up, he'd left that morning and she was still thinking what to say, so he wasn't counting on her presence, not really

He dealt with the guards outside the manor, who even when had been told differently, apparently still had an issue with letting the town car in, he walked in the house straight to the kitchen, grabbed himself some sliced bread and peanut butter and started walking towards the pool house, he deserved some comfort food after that night. He walked in, even in the dark and months later he knew exactly where he was going, he left the food in a small table nearby and took off his shirt.

"mmm can I have some of that?"

He turned around with his butter knife held to the air and his eyes wide open "Amanda what the fuck?"

She was sitting in his bed, her legs falling freely and being swung a little and her hair held in a ponytail, she was wearing all black and a laptop he didn't recognize lay next to her "If you're going to stab me please don't stab me with that" she smiled at him and his frazzled look

He slowly put down the knife and turn on the light "How did you even got in here?" he looked at her calmly now "You look like a burglar, but how?"

She smiled wider "You do know who you're talking to?"

"There are government agents outside the manor"

"But Amanda Clarke wanted to go in the manor, so she did. I was expecting happy Daniel", he moved forward and kissed her, her hands moved from the mattress to the back of his neck "Better"

"I am just shocked one single woman in black clothing can beat the best people the state of New York has to offer for the safety of its ruler" he pecked her lips again "did you just do it for kicks and giggles?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you" she paused "before we do this I need to know you're absolutely sure", she finished

"I am" he sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders "all in, ready to break hell loose tomorrow morning" he emphasized "why are you here now? Why didn't you tell me I would have gotten you from the airport and let you in without the fence-jumping issue"

"Right because no photographer would find that odd and no guard would have called Conrad in a second" she looked at him, the ever innocent Daniel Grayson "it's okay I got here yesterday, spent my days with Nolan, I missed him" she paused "and had to make sure he was okay with this too, again, are you?"

"Dammit, I am, it was my idea woman, get a grip on your fear" her laughed at the absurdity of his words and kissed her temple "I missed you these two days"

She leaned into him a bit "Me too" he let out a humming noise of agreement and took a curl out of her face to tuck it behind her ear "Hey here's most of what I have on them, everything's backed up three times and there's physical evidence I do not carry with me" Se took the laptop from the bed and handed him it " I will tell them everything but there is no chance in hell I am giving up the leverage and I have made sure it's virtually impossible to tie me to something with anything that's not my word so I took down the surveillance equipment because let's be honest, they will say they did it before I confess and they won't, so don't tell the terrorists"

He opened the laptop and scanned through the thousands of files "Wow this is just, A+ on homework Miss Clarke"

"They're not as good as they think they are. Are you okay with all of this?"

"God, yes"

"Daniel even if they do leave us alone that's what you get, a parent less life, maybe even sister less and there's no chance you're meeting Patrick after this, if that's what you'd want"

"Who?"

"Oh god, I never told you about Patrick? That's Victoria's son, she said she aborted she didn't, it goes into the secret pack I'm threatening them with."

"Oh okay, I don't care about them and I'll work Charlotte, she loves you"

"Not for long, think of that and think in your wedding and your children and her wedding and her children, and eventually their deaths, are you willing to miss all that?"

"_Our_ wedding and _our_ children do not need them" he kissed her temple again "and Charlotte will come around eventually, it's not like she doesn't want to make them suffer, she'll realize you're a hero and she'll come around"

She smiled at him "You are incredibly stubborn Daniel. I'm not a hero, I'm a horrible person who lived filled with anger and poison for so long she thought she was being a hero but you changed me and I see that I'm not a hero, I'm not sorry but I'm definitely aware of the skewed way I approached justice" she gently got out of the hug to turn and face him "I need you to stop making excuses for what I did to feel better about loving me, I need you to go out there tomorrow and tell them you know I'm horrible but you don't care and they're going to have to deal with that because if you don't I'm going out there alone tomorrow and they'll destroy me thinking I brainwashed you, Can you do that?"

"You heartwashed me"

"oh god, shut up" she snorted at him "Can you or can you not?"

"I can"

"Good"

* * *

**A/N: Well that took a while. Sorry awesome people who follows up with this story. Thanks for reading and for the encouraging reviews :)**


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